The Hate Show w/ Dave & Roman

[Roman] "Thank you, thank you. I appreciate all your support. It's good to finally be back in the USA. Heard any good jokes lately?"

[Dave] "About me or about you?" [rimshot] "So, you decided to stop fighting the extradition?"

[Roman] "Well, I figured the timing could not be better. After the revelation of your infidelities took me out of the headlines, I started to think about it."

[Dave] "Glad to be of service, sir."

[Roman] "And then when my friends in Europe, whom I thank for harboring me all these years, well, when they spat upon his O'liness in Copenhagen, I knew it was almost the right time. Then, just a I was starting to have second thoughts, the Nobel Committee, well, they just blew me totally off the front page. The public has already forgotten all about the both of us."

[Dave, mockingly formal] "I'd like to thank the Nobel Committee taking the spotlight off of our misdeeds and concentrating it instead on President Obama's lack of deeds."

[Roman] "Yea, verily! Amen, brother Dave!"

[Dave] "Yes, praise Obama. Though he is far too lofty of make fun of, he can be counted on to steal every news cycle. But enough with the chit-chat. Let's get down to the important stuff... That Palin girl, she's quite the slut."

[Roman, squirming in his seat] "Uhh, Dave, maybe we should change the subject. Young girls, are, umm, aww, what the heck - it's not like a lot of people are watching the show... Yeah, I'd hit that like Ray Lewis blindsiding Peyton Manning."

[Dave, impersonating Tina Fey impersonating Sarah Palin] "I can see quaaludes from my house!"

[Paul] "Gaahaaahaaa!" [piano gliss]

[Dave and Roman exchange a high-five]

[Dave] "We'll be riiiiiight back after this word from one of the remaining sponsors who hasn't yet pulled their advertising!"