Thursday, March 10, 2011

Seven Mondays this week

I betcha most of you are getting weary of my problems-around-the-house kind of stuff.  Tough.  If you don't like it, you can upgrade to Premium Membership and receive stuff that is funny.  Otherwise all you get is more of the same...

My bike got a flat.  OK, that's not so big a deal.  But then my wife rolled over in the middle of the night and elbowed me in the eye.  Been married for 8 years and that's the first time anything like that has happened.  And the house smells a foul kind of sour - I'm pretty sure the grandson left a sippy cup of juice somewhere but we can't find it.   I think he takes after his other grandpa and is trying to whip up a batch of prison pruno...

Then this morning while I'm in the shower I can hear "Crap!  Aw, CRAP!" and then the smoke alarm went off.  It takes a lot to make me cut short a nice hot shower, but that qualifies.

It turns out my wife was making me some toast, which I appreciate.  However...  A friend of ours works at the county records office and noticed a goof on the dog license renewal we just sent in.  So she called the house to talk to my wife about it (and catch up on chit-chat).  She was explaining to my wife that we could have taken a $3 discount because the boy doggie is fixed but she can't issue a refund that's less than $10 so do we want to start over or just not worry about the $3 and wow haven't seen you in a while how are the kids I bet the grandkids are getting big yadda yadda.  Oh things are good, the grandkids are growing so fast HOLY CRAP THE TOAST IS ON FIRE!  Not just "scrape the burnt part off and it will still be edible", but actual freeking flames coming out of the toaster.

So now the house smells like a campfire and I'm not sure the smoke alarm survived my attempt at shutting it up. I'll be lucky to survive to the end of the week.


  1. When all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a smoke alarm.

  2. Wow, and I thought that I was having a bad week.

  3. Where is the link for premium membership? Heh.
    And only three more Mondays to go!

  4. Your life would be incomplete if you didn't have something to complain about. I just can't afford premium membership at this time. Maybe after April 15th.

  5. So, now you need to buy another Thermo-Nuclear toaster?
    Maybe the wife will let you have a little make-up to cover that soon to be shiner!
    And your bike has a flat. Inno, If I could still drink I'd raise one to you, gonna be a rough month looks like!

  6. If you don't survive Shamus and I will hold a memorial in your honor.

    There will be plenty of beer, bbq and strippers.

  7. What Matt said, except for the fact that my week has been pretty good. So far.

    re: burning toast. LTC Kilgore comes to mind.

    wv: ambula. Freakin' google never finishes anything.

  8. It's probablynot a hidden zippy cup, it's probably the contents of a zippy cup which were spilled on the rug several days ago.

    Just a little something to dim your already-rather-drab day.

    Dang, dude! What'd you do to tick off Karma so badly!

  9. Randy-G beat me to it. I'll gladly pay to be put out of your misery.

    Gots plenty of mine own. Not really...things are going good around here. I'm glad you asked, Inno. I appreciate that.

    You've been married 8 years? And you've already got Grandkids? Dude, I knowed you had magical powers.


  10. Japan has the earthquakes and you have the tsunamis in your kitchen LOOONG time!!!


Family-friendly phrasing heartily encouraged.

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