Various pundits spent the weekend beating President Obowma up for bowing to Emperor Akhito of Japan. I, as usual, have to be the lone voice of reason. I, as usual, am the only one who really understands what is going on. I, as usual, will now tell you what really happened.
This is actually a major victory for Obowma. It is well understood that an American president bows to nobody, clearly making this bow insincere. It is rather like when I let my toddler-aged grandson beat me at wrestling: everybody knows I could beat him, so by letting him win I send a message of utter strength and confidence. He gets a good long giggle out of it, too, especially when I feign being in pain from his holds and throws. All because he is too young and lacking in nuanced thinking to realize that I am actually embarrassing him. He becomes a little toy to be trifled with for as long as he continues to amuse me and then unceremoniously handed back to grandma. Similarly, Obowma is toying with Akihito. He is saying "I am so dominant over you, I can bow like a wuss and still be the baddest man on the planet." Obowma is sending the world the unmistakable message that he, Obowma, is Undisputed and Undefeated Leader of the Free World, the not-quite-free-but-still-pretty-cheap world, the third world and even the turd world. Leaders in North Korea, China, Iran and Venezuela are no doubt rethinking their policies of antagonizing the United States. They quiver in fear at the thought of Obowma appearing in their countries and bowing to them. Expect Nork and Iranian nuclear programs to be cancelled in short order. China will stop poisoning us with lead-based paint on our toys. Osama bin Laden will come out of his cave with his hands up, saying (in Arabic, of course) "I geeve up! I surrender! Just please not to bow at me, O Mighty Obowma!" Even the glaciers will stop melting - if they know what is good for them. This was a great day in the history of America.