Monday, November 16, 2009

My take on Obowma bowing to Akihito

Various pundits spent the weekend beating President Obowma up for bowing to Emperor Akhito of Japan. I, as usual, have to be the lone voice of reason. I, as usual, am the only one who really understands what is going on. I, as usual, will now tell you what really happened.

This is actually a major victory for Obowma. It is well understood that an American president bows to nobody, clearly making this bow insincere. It is rather like when I let my toddler-aged grandson beat me at wrestling: everybody knows I could beat him, so by letting him win I send a message of utter strength and confidence. He gets a good long giggle out of it, too, especially when I feign being in pain from his holds and throws. All because he is too young and lacking in nuanced thinking to realize that I am actually embarrassing him. He becomes a little toy to be trifled with for as long as he continues to amuse me and then unceremoniously handed back to grandma. Similarly, Obowma is toying with Akihito. He is saying "I am so dominant over you, I can bow like a wuss and still be the baddest man on the planet." Obowma is sending the world the unmistakable message that he, Obowma, is Undisputed and Undefeated Leader of the Free World, the not-quite-free-but-still-pretty-cheap world, the third world and even the turd world. Leaders in North Korea, China, Iran and Venezuela are no doubt rethinking their policies of antagonizing the United States. They quiver in fear at the thought of Obowma appearing in their countries and bowing to them. Expect Nork and Iranian nuclear programs to be cancelled in short order. China will stop poisoning us with lead-based paint on our toys. Osama bin Laden will come out of his cave with his hands up, saying (in Arabic, of course) "I geeve up! I surrender! Just please not to bow at me, O Mighty Obowma!" Even the glaciers will stop melting - if they know what is good for them. This was a great day in the history of America.

11 comments:

  1. A very reasonable explanation. And as an added benefit, with our Dear Leader bowing it does make it easier to kick him in the ass.

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  2. THAT'S IT!!!!

    Thank you for clearing that up for me. I now understand it all. Soon the world we be falling at Obowma's feet. When exactly can we expect that to happen? I'm kinda looking forward to Castro giving up so I can get me some cigars.

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  3. So it's been reverse psych all along! That ol rascal!

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  4. yeah kinda like my husband THINKS he's the one with the pants..um wearing the pants..nevermind it's nothing like that...or is it :P

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  5. That is a good theory Innominatus. But, I think he is just a clueless moron who was waiting for a good swift kick to the head to knock some sense into him...hee hee.

    PS: thanks for your comment. I'm not Unemployed, I'm underemployed for an evil empire that wants to kick me out of there, so I have ramped up my looking again. It's a long, sad story, I just need to get out ASAP before something really awful happen. (As if the events of the last month weren't awful enough)

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  6. This is a perfect analysis, my friend. The world is now better for you having shared it.

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  7. Whew! I was worried there for a moment.

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  8. If that´s the case, I bow to your logic ;-)

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  9. So...he's kinda like Chuck Norris?
    .

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  10. innominatus, Thank you for helping me out with that ... You're a genius just like Obama !!!

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  11. OG, Obama is just like Chuck. Except he keeps forgetting that "kick the other guy's butt" step that comes after the "bow politely" step.

    Odie, I'm not sure if I am as much a genius as Barry. I always thought he was more of a Genie's Ass.

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Family-friendly phrasing heartily encouraged.

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