Monday, November 2, 2009

Biden dumber than thought

Vice President Joe Biden today baffled scientists by shattering the theoretical limits of stupidity. Prior to today's events, it had been believed that this much dumb would not fit within the confines of a normal (?) human cranium. Having teased researchers for years with near-record levels of dumbassery, Joe's attack on Sarah Palin proves that the standard mathematical model - which has been used to predict democrat lunacy for decades - is hopelessly flawed.

"Our model for Joe had predicted a gradual tapering off of stupidity" said the lead researcher. "Picture the graph of a critically-damped oscillator. That's what was expected. Instead we got an inverted hockey-stick of stupidity which plunged rapidly toward negative infinity. Thankfully, we were able to disconnect our equipment before it was damaged" he continued. Then, realizing his commentary would go over the head of many, he said "Think of it like this: Harry Reid with that petition against Limbaugh. Obama tangling with Fox News. Whacking a hornet's nest with a yardstick. Pimp-slapping Darth Vader. That's the magnitude of doofus were describing here."

11 comments:

  1. Joe Biden is all about a three letter word: D-U-M-B.

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  2. I have to disagree. Biden cannot possibly dumber than he is

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  3. Fantastically stupid. He should be checked with more hi-tech instruments, possibly by aliens. They might have the technology to measure his ginormous dumbitude.

    His boss, on the other hand, I think the aliens would need to measure his eviltude...

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  4. You know there's a deficit of intelligence with him, right? That's why we have to spend more to make him more unintelligent.

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  5. Actually, we should be careful with this. His stupidity could create some sort of paradox and destroy the universe...or something like that.

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  6. Is this spelling correct?

    "Statistical outlier."
    .

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  7. aA, Matt: Once the Large Hairplug, ahem, I mean Hadron Collider goes online, we may gain some insights.

    OG: Close. The preferred spelling is "Statist Out-Liar"

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  8. I used to think that he couldn't be as dumb as he looks, sort of like going faster than the speed of light...

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  9. "Vice President Joe Biden today baffled scientists by shattering the theoretical limits of stupidity."

    Love it, innominatus. Biden's ability to plumb ever-new depths of idiocy are remarkable.

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Family-friendly phrasing heartily encouraged.

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