Pre-UN jitters

The President and First Lady are getting dressed in preparation for the big appearance before the UN.

[Michelle] "Barack, does this dress make my butt look big?"

[Obama] "Naw. Your hips makes your butt look big. The dress makes you look like you were caught in the blast radius of a tragic Skittles Factory explosion."

[Michelle strikes Klingon battle stance briefly before charging the President, yelling] "GRAWW!"

[Obama deftly deflects Michelle's punch and raises his flyswatting hand menacingly]

[Michelle, shocked] "But Barry, what's gotten into you? I've never before failed in an attempt to smack you around!"

[Obama] "Look. I'm just in no mood to deal with you right now. In a few minutes I will be on the world stage, profusely apologizing for every real and imagined good deed our downright mean country has ever perpetrated on our planet."

[Michelle] "I've never been so proud! Are you going to apologize to Kdaffy for the Scots holding their hero for so long?"

[Obama] "Of course! I'm going to do so in person, face-to-face. I may even bow."

[Michelle] "I've never been so proud! Are you going to apologize to the Palestinians for them being forced to throw rocks at Israelis?"

[Obama] "Try to keep up. I did that yesterday when I met with Abbas and Net-N-Yahoo."

[Michelle] "I've never been so proud! Are you going to apologize to Russia for trying to block incoming missiles?"

[Obama] "Of course! And I'll apologize to Zelaya for not getting him back into Honduras sooner. And I'll apologize to Ahmadinejad for my tepid support of his re-election. And I'll apologize to ACORN for not stopping those two kids and their HandyCam. And I apologize to you, my dear wife, for parrying that punch a few minutes ago."

[Michelle] "I've never been so proud!"