Tuesday, November 23, 2010


Hey, kids!  It's that time of year again, where your (relatively) humble blog author waxes crabby about the weather!  Except it isn't that time of year.  Except that it is.  Yeah, weird.  Normally November in western Oregon is "falling leaves and decaying jack-o-lanterns that haven't been thrown away yet time of year".  Not "skate sideways at 10mph on the way home from early job time of year."  And certainly NOT "Hey, that garbage truck is getting sideways and headed right for me!" time of year.  Thankfully it WAS "Ha!  That garbage truck curbed it like a moron before he plowed into me" time of year. 

See, most years we get a trifling amount of snow that melts almost immediately.  This happens once or twice per winter and the kids get all jazzed about sledding and stuff.  Then it is melted and gone before the little 'uns have even figured out how to put on their snow gear.  **Nelson Muntz laugh har-har**  Last year we had a gnarly cold snap, but it was dry.  So we actually went a whole winter with no snow.  So snow is a pleasant yet fairly rare event around here.

Maybe some old timer remembers better than me, but I can't recall it EVER snowing on the valley floor in November.    Until last night.  It was only an inch or so, but the roads were already wet from earlier rains.  They froze up and now we have us a little of this:

Except this is from Seattle 2 years ago and we aren't quite as stupid as those stupid Seattle hippie dips.  So our little ice day has so far been neither this exciting nor this ridiculous.  But it is really darned slick out there.  That garbage truck tried to turn left in front of me but ended up continuing to go straight.  Sideways.  Broadside. Abeam.  Whatever you want to call it.  I got a real good look at the truck's profile before he hit curb and stopped.  Missed me by about 10 or 12 feet which seems like a lot.    But it really isn't.  When 60,000 lb trucks are doing pirouettes close enough that they're in Shaq's jump-shot range, that's a little snug for this guy's taste.  

Then the best part is, we have an expected high today of only 30.  So it probably won't thaw.  And even if it does thaw it won't evaporate.  And then with tonight's expected low of 15, it'll be like the zamboni just came by and smoothed out the ice for us.  If this is what November has for us, man, January is going to be crazy. 


  1. That video was wild Inno!

    Why the f_ck did they keep on trying to move?

    I have been in slick stuff my self (Michigan here) but that was the worst driving due to the fact they were at all I have ever seen.

    p.s., The high here yesterday was 61?

  2. I guess Seattle never heard of salt, eh? There's not a whole lot ya can do about ice, tho, except stay put and wait for the salt trucks or warm(er) temps.

    I feel yore pain, Inno. Really, I do. I lived in various places Up Nawth for better than 20 years so I know ice and snow.

  3. Christopher - everybody here thinks they're smarter than everybody else. It's annoying. They think that "just because it happened to everybody else doesn't mean it'll happen to me, too."

    Buck - yeah, we've heard of salt BUT THEY WON'T USE IT 'cuz it runs off into the streams and irritates the fishies or something. When one figures the huge amounts of rain and snowmelt around here, the concentration of salt in the streams would be NEGLIGIBLE. But they don't care. They'd rather people get in wrecks and commerce grind to a halt than inconvenience a flippin' fish.

  4. I sure do like your wording! "...in Shaq's jump-shot range..."; florid speech, y'all! For a guy with no name, you sure have made a no-name for yourself with your most excellent wordings!

    In Southeast Texas, we gots warm, humid SE winds at about 15-20 mph, feels like spring at 80° highs.

  5. Yeah, Inno...I've heard from several of my pals (that are still talking to me) that it's been unseasonable when it comes to weather junk in your neck of the woods. Washington State, too.

    Well, y'all's junk is headed our way, and even the TSA can't touch it. We hit 80+ today, but the forecast is for 29 by Sunday morning. That means one thing...Duck and Cover...Twisters are on their way.

    Just be safe, Dude. The problem with this crap is that you have to be out in it with friggin' morons...I know it from experience. We get ice storms here in NW Louisiana almost annually, and the retards drive like it's the 4th of July.


  6. Global warming strikes again!

  7. Here in Phoenix we're also having a cold(for us) Thanksgiving. In fact, it's the coldest in 80 years. Curse you, Global Warming™!

  8. Oooh. Your description of the garbage truck sliding toward you gave me some serious heebie jeebies. Driving on ice is more dangerous than driving while texting, to my way of thinking -- neither should be attempted. We were driving through wicked weather on the way to the sister-in-law's yesterday -- temperature inversions, swirling winds, driving rain so heavy you couldn't see 10 feet ahead. I was genuinely thankful when we got there in one piece. Glad you stayed in one, indented, piece.


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