Thursday, July 9, 2009

Barry potent fashion statements

[Michelle O] "Barry! I saw that!"

[Barack O] "Umm, saw what?"

[MichelleO] "You rubberneckin' that white girl!"

[Obama] "Umm, it's not what it looks like. Not at all." [mind racing] "I thought she dropped something and I was going to bend over and pick it up. Uhh, you know, gentlemanlyishly"

[MichelleO] "You gawk, then you lie, so now you got a choice to make: You can take your whuppin' like a man, you can eat a big bowl of heavy-metal-death-cabbage, or you can hand over the Visa card!."

[Obama] "Nah, nah, nah!" [Burst of courage, forceful tone] "I'm tired of getting pushed around! My approval ratings are in the sewer, China and India laugh at my global warming initiatives, the Senate doesn't even want to talk about it, and Joe's out there running his mouth about who know what! Now, you're going to support me!"

[MichelleO] "Never waste a good crisis, Barry! Now cough up the plastic, or I go on Oprah and cry about your wanderin' eyes!"

[Malia] "And I'm wearing this chickenprint peace shirt! Don't try to stop me!"

[MichelleO] "Yeah, you tell 'im, baby!"

[Obama, mad but defeated] "Ratfart!" [Pulls out Spiderman wallet, peels open the velcro, and gives Michelle the Visa card]

[MichelleO] "Got my eye on that $800 handbag. Gonna be looking fiiiiiiiiiine with that $800 handbag! Gonna say it cost $6000 and pocket the difference!"

[Obama, under his breath] "Good. Maybe the shiny new handbag will distract people from noticing the width of your butt. Gotta be at least two ax-handles wide."

[MichelleO, sleeveless dress revealing flexing biceps] "Say what?"

[Obama, defiant] "Yeah, you heard me! Fine, go ahead, beat me up again! Put it on YouTube! Give the reichbloggers more reasons to question your femininity!"

[MichelleO, gasping in surprise] "Barry, I've never seen you act like this!"

[Obama] "Well, I'm just about mad enough to, to, uh, try to break a pencil or something"

[MichelleO, getting misty-eyed] "And there are really people out there who mock my appearance?"

[Obama, cheering] "Ha! Heck yeah! Some of them are like crazy-funny!"

[MichelleO, crying, slugs Barack in the shoulder, who winces in pain. Both end up in a good long cry.]


  1. If I didn't know better I'd think you were transcribing actual events.

    But my question is, is she really 16 or was that a joke?

  2. I read that somewhere today - I think it was hotair.

  3. One of us just HAS to do an Attack of the 50-foot Mobacca skit real soon.

  4. HAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! This is the best one yet! Oh man, I hope my co-workers here can hear the customers on the phone over me laughing so hard.


Family-friendly phrasing heartily encouraged.


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