Monday, April 12, 2010

Power of Positive Thinking (?)

President Obama is intelligent, honest, courageous, and possesses great athletic prowess.
Under his leadership, our nation will chart a new course that leads to unprecedented prosperity, security, and liberty for all Americans.
I spent the whole weekend chanting that mantra.  Really, really chanting.  You know, like a retarded pagan at a moon festival.  But nothing seems to have changed.   I really had high hopes for this whole Positive Thinking thing, since nothing else seems to be working.  But it hasn't helped at all.  Did I do it wrong or something?  Did I forget a key word or phrase?  What gives?


  1. Yeah, after all that you're supposed to say: "PSYCH!"

  2. Time has no meaning. To a true student, a year is as a day. Positive thinking is not a path to a door, but a road leading forever towards the horizon. True Positive Thinking is the wine of purity, not the vinegar of hostility. Meditate upon this truth.

    When you have mastered the ways of Positive Thinking and Ti Kwan Leep, then you will be able to give PeeBo a Boot to the Head!

  3. Two problems. One, you're supposed to be butt-naked and running around the forest when chanting. Two, that mantra doesn't work on anyone born in Kenya.

  4. You were "positively thinking" the wrong thoughts.

  5. I have no theory on this, so I won't comment.

    Wait, I guess I just did. Dang.

    Well, while I'm here I just want to say that you had the right idear, but the wrong subject. It's like praying for Satan to get saved; just won't happen. All else in the physical world is possible, but just not what your're asking.

    Well, that and the other thing.

  6. kingshamus - is it that simple? Dang!

    classicaliberal - I shall become the Master of Obama Kwan Do'h!

    JBomb - But there are prickly pine cone things in the forest! Ouch!

    Odie - That's usually the case for me

    aA - I knew I was asking too much. "My peach exceeds my grasp" or something wise like that.


Family-friendly phrasing heartily encouraged.

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