Saturday, March 21, 2009

Fun with Timmy Geithner

Everybody's been wondering what our Treasury Secretary has been up to lately. Since he seems to be taking his time getting his department staffed and presenting his plan for saving the banking and credit industries, our crack team of investigators did a little crack investigating. This is what we've learned so far...

Since coming to the realization that nobody likes him and that he will soon be out of a job, Timmy has endorsed a series of books. The residual incomes will come in quite handy when he's unemployed. Our legal researchers are still trying to determine whether the book's royalties are transferable if Timmy should 'accidentally' get the Vince Foster treatment.

Our crack photographers also caught up with Timmy backstage. He is performing in an Off-Broadway production called The Scarlett Ink. He has the lead role of Jester Prynne, a hilarious financial adulterer who burns through trillions of dollars to no apparent effect. In this pic, we see him in the midst of one of the many pregnant pauses that symbolize the release of his long-awaited plans to stabilize our financial sector.

Theater critics are giving it one thumb finger up. Get your tickets and popcorn early for this one, folks - before the hyperinflation kicks in!

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