Monday, November 30, 2009

Innomipoint contest, 11-30-09

I turned on blogger's "new post editor" so let's see if it barfs...

Original post w/ rules

Question #1:  '80s hair-metal music is
  1. All-around vomit-inducing garbage that should never be played again.
  2. There were a few good bands, but most stank like a warm day at the landfill.
  3. Most of the music was good, with a few posers here and there.
  4. Dude!  The '80s rule!  Dis on the hair bands at your peril!
Question #2:  What is the most asked-for thing on kid's letters to Santa this year?
  1. A job for daddy
  2. A new video game console
  3. A pony
  4. A do-over on the 2008 elections.

Question #3:  Barney Frank, Chris Mathews, Al Gore and the ghost of Ted Kennedy are eating lunch at O'Bama's Olde Time Irish Bar and Grill.   Sarah Palin, Fred Thompson, Rush Limbaugh and Dick Cheney enter and wait to be seated.  What happens next?


  1. Q1. 2-The fact that I could see their junk through their spandex still makes me wake up screaming.
    Q2. 2-Now that daddy's unemployed, he can use it too!
    Q3. Rush Limbaugh yells "Quail!" and Sarah Palin and Dick Cheney whip out shotguns and empty the magazines into Frank, Mathews, Gore and the ghost of Ted Kennedy. After the carnage is over, Fred Thompson lights a cigar, takes a puff and muses, "If only Congress worked this way".

  2. Q1: 2

    Q2: 4

    Q3: I don't know, but it's likely to include Cheney eating some brains.

  3. #1. the answer is and forever will be 1, no question.

    #2. I am torn between 1 and 4; I am 1, and of course who wouldn't want 4...but the do-over would have to be retroactive back to the primaries with Fred winning and choosing Sarah P. as his enforc-- ah, RUNNING mate. Put me down for number 1.

    #3. Ooh, since the conservative 4 are all carrying deadly weapons (a shotgun, a .338 and a Kimber 1911, and one mouth), the boys and ghost would all shriek like little girls and vacate their bowels and the establishment. The latter 4 wouldn't eat there anyhow, seeing as who runs the joint, so they go to Ruth's Chris Steak House to cash in on Rush's comp meals, and also cuz it's red meat.

  4. Q1 - 2
    Q2 - 2

    Q3 - Well, as Palin was the first in the conservative group to enter (due to the still gentlemanly behavior observed on the Right), the aura of her untainted femininity was enough to send Bawney´s gaydar on a collision course with Matthews' leg tingle, which the combined force of was enough compel Gore to finally proclaim to the world, in his effeminate Forrest Gump voice, his own longing for masculine love and how hiding it drove him to criminal insanity. Kennedy´s ghost toasted that by raising his 5th bottle of bourbon while reaching to pinch Sarah´s bottom.

    Palin´s posterior, however, was never pinched. Rush ran interferance while Thompson circled behind and they both subdued the philandering fantasm. Unfortunately, there is no way to account for what followed with the dead Kennedy restrained and his bourbon bottle in Cheney´s possession without violating the "Family-friendly" code encouraged here. Suffice it to say, the hell he came from was preferable to his experience that day.p

  5. 1=4 there i said it.
    3= Sarah Fred Rush and Dick turn right around and leave upon reading the "no firearms allowed" sign. so they decide to stop off at Heston's BBQ and Firing Range.

  6. Q #1 = 3. (Note to Javelina Bomb - the fact you mentioned made them EXTRA good, hee hee)

    Q #2 = 4. Kiddies realize that if they could reverse the curse of 2008 they could also find a job for their dad that would have him riding a pony whilst playing video games!

    Q #3 = Frankenwiennie, leg tingles, alwhore and satan's new bartender get so "spooked" that then throw up their wild mushroom and endive salads and martini's all over the table. Frank, being such a pig, doesn't mind and cleans it up with his tongue!
    Sarah and Dick refuse to check their rifles at the door, they want to be armed for when albore tries to unload his trailer of polar bears on the group! Fred and Rush discuss what cabinet posts they want when Sarah Gets Elected President in 2012! I'm at the next table and buy then a beer with a southern comfort chaser! We all need to get drunk to stand being in the same room with the moonbats.

    (That was fun, you always make us think of cool stuff for the essay's, Innominatus!)

  7. I've got to catch up! Ok..
    Q1: 2. I thought something smelled fishy...
    Q2: My answer's #4, but then I'm not a kid. So a kid this year is probably wishing dad had more $$$, so #1.
    Q3: All hell breaks loose. Palin fires a lead ball into Matthews' tingling leg while shouting, "How about a little hardball, Matthews?"
    Meanwhile, Cheney kicks Frank all around the place [who's wearing a strange smile the whole time] until Al Gore stops everything with one of his greenhouse emissions. Thompson and Limbaugh choke, drop their cigars which ignites the noxious fumes and the whole place explodes. In the silence that follows, the only sound is the faint singing of an inebriated ghost...

  8. Q1: Depends... Are Def Leppard and Aerosmith considered hair bands? If yes, then The '80s rule!
    Q2: J, all of the above. Everyone wants a XBox 360, especially after seeing the whole project natal intro.
    Q3: Dance off, Pat Benetar style.


Family-friendly phrasing heartily encouraged.

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