Saturday, July 31, 2010

Apologies to Dan Fogelburp

Yeah, Paul Shanklin doesn't really need to worry about me taking his job any time soon. As my friends at church say "You don't sing worth a phbbbt but you do a pretty good, um, 'joyous noise.' "

I do hereby give you my first homebrew .mp3

Lyrics and liner notes:

An obese man alone and wild, A coal magnate's son
Hired her to do some work on his adductors and his bunz.
Hockey stick show out on the road, hypocritic ways
Demanded Cap-n-Trade taxes we never could repay.

A lefty politician denied historic fate
Tried to be the president once
Hanging chads and Bush and hate
He earned his dough through deception
That blowhard wooden man
His ruthless way of fudging data
Took me years to understand.

The wiener in his hand is tired
Tipper's love has long grown cold
But his blood runs through his instrument
Second chakra still on hold --
His life has been a poor attempt
To get a happy end
Al Gore's a raving lunatic
With his wiener in his hand.

Al Gore's the King of Moonbats
With his wiener in his hand.

For those who are interested, this was recorded on Audacity, a freebie multitrack sound editor I found at sourceforge.  The acoustic is a hand-me-down Matao done in two tracks: one strummed, another (poorly) fingerpicked.  It doesn't have pickups, so I scotch taped my $9 PC microphone to the body of the guitar near the soundhole.  The bass track was done on a cheapo Gibson Squire bass.  The frightful vocals were done on the same $9 PC mike, and an the ending was done on an econo Ibanez GRX40 through a tiny little Crate amp with all its knobs turned to "ludicrously obnoxious."

I'm still an utter novice at this, and wouldn't mind hearing from any of you that may be more experienced at this.  I also think it would be fun if a bunch of us downloaded Audacity and then each contributed a few lines to a redneck/Tea Party remix of We Are the World


  1. I may never be able to listen to Fogelberg with a straight face again.

    Nice "joyful noise."

    I don't know nuthin' 'bout no recordin', but it sounded pretty good to me -- especially the rockin' out riffs at the end. Sent Window Media Player colors all whichaway!

  2. Moogie - Thanks. I threw the ending on there 'cuz I didn't want the last thing anybody remembered about it to be Al's wiener!

  3. Your kindness in reasoning for the last riff is much appreciated.

    I was seen to smile and chuckle in hidden guilty pleasure at your little diddie.

    I feel like I need a shower now, though. Just sayin'.

  4. aA - I'm glad you at least chuckled, as your comments a while back about Weird Al were kind of a catalyst for this post.

  5. Inno, I'm late to the party here. And, I'm truly speechless. And, it's hard to make me speechless.

    Just speechless...laughing like a dufus, but speechless.



  6. Poor Al. Weiner in hand. Tipper's love gone cold. His tears will make our sea levels rise.

    Think about the polar bears Al!

  7. Andy - yeah, my singing voice kind of has a speechlessifying effect on people.

    Infidel - He is a thoughtless bastage, ain't he?

  8. That's great. I can add nothing more. It's an instant classic.


Family-friendly phrasing heartily encouraged.


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