Friday, July 16, 2010

A day in the life...

People are always asking me what it is like to be a world-famous, independently wealthy, hawt-enough-to-be-on-a-magazine-cover blogger.  It starts kind of like this:

Oldest boy's fiancée just had surgery on her shoulder and can't really take care of the baby very well, so she's staying with us for a few weeks while her hubby-to-be is out of town.  It has been hot here lately, and all we have is one of those stick-it-in-the-window air conditioners that's about the size of a kid's lunchbox.  We've been parking the baby's swing close to the AC since the darned thing ain't really big enough to chill the whole house.  Next thing ya know, the house has picked up a funky smell.

"Dunno what that is, just spray some more air freshener."

The next day it was a little worse and all of a sudden there's a damp spot on the carpet by the baby's swing.

"Crud!  The dogs are getting tired of the crying baby and are expressing themselves in an unsanitary manner!"

The next day it was unbearable and we noticed part of the carpet was sopping wet.  Wifeypoo moved some furniture to and sucked up most of it with our carpet shampooer.  Still stinky.

"Toxic mold can kill, but mostly it only leads to neurological conditions like chronic headaches and blindness, so we have nothing to worry about."

It wasn't getting much better so we pulled up the carpet and the padding.  Turns out we hadn't noticed the little AC unit had been bumped and tipped inward just a little.  So all the condensation was running down the wall behind the couch instead of out the drain in the back.  That little box has been running full-blast 24/7 for a while and it spits out a surprising amount of condensation.  Thankfully everything is pretty much dry now.  But it looked like it was going to be a big problem.  Through it all, some among us just didn't get too bothered by it:
.
.

Note to landlord:   If you by chance should happen to read this, we did not, repeat NOT, through inaction and inattentiveness almost ruin your house.  (wink-wink) Everything said above is just a bunch of hoo-hah backstory to give me a reason to post that pic.

But wait, there's more!

This weekend is "da Vinci Days" in my town.  Promoters call it "A Celebration of Art, Science and Technology." I rather call it an infernal gathering of talentless musicians and hippies of every stripe.  Ya got the graybeard oldschool hippies peddling their hand-blown "glassware" that is "only to be used for tobacco."  Then there are the "just finished my master's degree in Ancient Celtic Misogyny but don't have a job" hippies who demonstrate how to power an old diesel Mercedes on strained beets.  Lastly, there are the "arrogant overpaid hipsters who don't think they're hippies" hippies riding around on recumbent bikes sippin' soy lattes while telling everybody else to step aside so they can get a better view of the Kinetic Sculpture Race.  And then there's always some butthair talking about the joys of geocaching.  Gag.

The whole thing is repulsive.  It also disrupts traffic.  There is not one bit of good to be found in any of it.  It isn't often that I earnestly wish the earth to open up and swallow thousands of people, but this weekend is going to be one of those times.

10 comments:

  1. "..some butthair talking about the joys of geocaching.." You know Jason too?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Cute pic.

    I love your description of the "sit-in" lol. Do not feel alone, MI has these assine events as well.

    Keep cool, all of you and remember November,,just 109 days from now.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Inno, those two cuties make it all worth while.
    I hope you survive the hippy invasion.

    I'm been too lazy, and my back is tired, so I haven't dug the window lunch box a/c out of the closet yet. I might break down and do it soon, cause it's gonna be hot here for another week. Have fun this weekend.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Same thing happened with my air conditioner. Moldy carpet. Bad smell.

    Cute pictures btw.


    Haven't we killed all the hippies yet? Damn. We can only hope.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Speaking for your landlord, I can truly say that I'm so pleased you concocted the hoo-hah backstory. Thta picture is worth a bazillion words. Love the smile on the pup.

    Sorry about HippyFest.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Dang, Inno! I thought my life sucked.

    Well, really it does, but I'm feeling much better now.

    As to the window unit AC tilting forward and spilling condensation...

    Yeah...been there. Jeez Louise...I think if somebody tried to schedule a da Vinci days deal, the big fat guy at the permit office would just shoot them dead on the spot.

    But, this is Sweet Home Looooooziana, where the skies are gray...and The Governor is too!

    Just sayin'...

    ReplyDelete
  7. Good stuff, sir- linked today at RR:

    http://reaganiterepublicanresistance.blogspot.com/2010/07/meandering-righty-blogoverse.html

    Enjoy your weekend...

    RR

    ReplyDelete
  8. OK, how do cause a bunch of smelly hippies disappear? I ain't like they're humans or anything?

    ReplyDelete
  9. OK, how do cause a bunch of smelly hippies disappear? I ain't like they're humans or anything?

    ReplyDelete

Family-friendly phrasing heartily encouraged.

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