People are always asking me what it is like to be a world-famous, independently wealthy, hawt-enough-to-be-on-a-magazine-cover blogger. It starts kind of like this:
Oldest boy's fiancée just had surgery on her shoulder and can't really take care of the baby very well, so she's staying with us for a few weeks while her hubby-to-be is out of town. It has been hot here lately, and all we have is one of those stick-it-in-the-window air conditioners that's about the size of a kid's lunchbox. We've been parking the baby's swing close to the AC since the darned thing ain't really big enough to chill the whole house. Next thing ya know, the house has picked up a funky smell.
"Dunno what that is, just spray some more air freshener."
The next day it was a little worse and all of a sudden there's a damp spot on the carpet by the baby's swing.
"Crud! The dogs are getting tired of the crying baby and are expressing themselves in an unsanitary manner!"
The next day it was unbearable and we noticed part of the carpet was sopping wet. Wifeypoo moved some furniture to and sucked up most of it with our carpet shampooer. Still stinky.
"Toxic mold can kill, but mostly it only leads to neurological conditions like chronic headaches and blindness, so we have nothing to worry about."
It wasn't getting much better so we pulled up the carpet and the padding. Turns out we hadn't noticed the little AC unit had been bumped and tipped inward just a little. So all the condensation was running down the wall behind the couch instead of out the drain in the back. That little box has been running full-blast 24/7 for a while and it spits out a surprising amount of condensation. Thankfully everything is pretty much dry now. But it looked like it was going to be a big problem. Through it all, some among us just didn't get too bothered by it:
Note to landlord: If you by chance should happen to read this, we did not, repeat NOT, through inaction and inattentiveness almost ruin your house. (wink-wink) Everything said above is just a bunch of hoo-hah backstory to give me a reason to post that pic.
But wait, there's more!
This weekend is "da Vinci Days" in my town. Promoters call it "A Celebration of Art, Science and Technology." I rather call it an infernal gathering of talentless musicians and hippies of every stripe. Ya got the graybeard oldschool hippies peddling their hand-blown "glassware" that is "only to be used for tobacco." Then there are the "just finished my master's degree in Ancient Celtic Misogyny but don't have a job" hippies who demonstrate how to power an old diesel Mercedes on strained beets. Lastly, there are the "arrogant overpaid hipsters who don't think they're hippies" hippies riding around on recumbent bikes sippin' soy lattes while telling everybody else to step aside so they can get a better view of the Kinetic Sculpture Race. And then there's always some butthair talking about the joys of geocaching. Gag.
The whole thing is repulsive. It also disrupts traffic. There is not one bit of good to be found in any of it. It isn't often that I earnestly wish the earth to open up and swallow thousands of people, but this weekend is going to be one of those times.