Friday, July 16, 2010

Lie-nerd Sky-nerd

pResident Obama is walking lightheartedly along the Rose Garden.  He whistles a familiar tune as a Virginia Slim is clenched tightly 'twixt his lips.  How he accomplishes these two mutually-exclusive things remains unclear as Joe Biden approaches.

[Biden] "Mr. President, you sure have a spring in your step.  'Spritely' I might even call it.  In light of all the bad news we've had lately, how can this be?"

[Obama] "Joe, you only see bad news because you only think short-term.  They don't call it the 'Long March' without reason.  See, I'm a student of pop culture.  Particularly rock music.  Not that I am a big fan of that racist tripe, but it is a reliable indicator of the national mood."

[Biden] "Whoa...  That sounds, like, heavy, man!"

[Obama] "Think back to rock music from about 10, 15 years ago, around the end of Clinton's term.  Every song was pretty much 'everything sucks and I wish I was dead.'  Then look at the music from the end of Bush's term - it was pretty much 'everything sucks so I wanna start a fight.' "

[Biden] "You're right.  There have been a lot of songs lately about punching people and stuff."

[Obama] "Exactly.  But that is beginning to change.  Earlier today I was out on the golf course.  That fat kid that drives the zamboni thing that gathers balls off the driving range had his boombox turned up loud enough to hear some of his music.  I was amazed.  I didn't think it would all come together so quickly."

[Biden] "What did you hear?"

[Obama] "I couldn't hear all the words, but it went something like this:

♪♫Big wheels keep on turning
'lectric car to see my kin
Singing songs about the South Side
I miss al-Obama once again
And I think its a sin, yes

Well I heard Limbaugh talk about him
Well, I heard ole Rush put him down
Well, I hope Limbaugh will remember
A South Side man don't need him around anyhow


Sweet home al-Obama
Where the skies are so blue
Sweet Home al-Obama
Lord, I'm coming home to you♪♫"

[Biden] "But sir, that isn't what that song..."

[Obama, interrupting] "Yeah, I know.  Most people don't know their proper Arabic.  Remember Saddam?  His full name was Saddam Hussein al-Tikriti, because he was from Tikrit.  In Arabic, the 'al-' prefix means 'from' or 'man of' but these youngsters writing this new song mistakenly used my name as if it were a place.  My full name would be something like Barack Hussein Obama al-Kenyahoo or something like that.  I don't expect them to understand yet.  But they will.  That they are even trying to incorporate Islamic imagery into pop culture already shows just how far I've already come. But the song continues

♪♫In DC they love the President, mmm, mmm, mmm
Now we all did what we could do
Now Watergate does not bother me
Not compared to what we gonna do
Fudge the truth

Sweet home al-Obama
Where the skies are so blue
Sweet Home al-Obama
Lord, I'm coming home to you
Here I come al-Obama

Now Jindal has got the tarballs
And he's been known to pick a boog or two
Lord he ticks me off so much
Wanna turn Louisiana back to blue
Now how about you?

Sweet home al-Obama
Where the skies are so blue
Sweet Home al-Obama
Lord, I'm coming home to you♪♫

See? Pretty cool, huh?  So Joe, wanna go out to the green and try to make a few putts with me?"

[Biden, facepalm behind barry's back] "Yeah, um, sure thing, sir."

10 comments:

  1. Great post. But why do I suspect it's not satire but reality?

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  2. Who knew you were a lyricist, too! Great post -- up there in the Iowahawk quality..

    Virginia Slim -- heh.

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  3. Great Post! I wish it wasn't so close to reality though.

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  4. Linked you. Have a great day!
    http://mindnumbedrobot.com/2010/07/16/robo-love-experiment-2/1838

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  5. Just the image of Obama puffing on a Virginia Slim is pretty funny.

    Al-Obama...hahahaa.

    Nice job, Inn.

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  6. Much nice, brother Innominatio! The very first instance where JoeBob is more astute than the pResident.

    Love your "weird Al Yankovic-ing"! You do it with such facility; I'm thinking of starting a campaign to get you an accordian!

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  7. My girl wants to polka all the time, polka all the time, polka all the ti-i-i-me.

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  8. His perception of reality sure is amazing.

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  9. Inno, I think bammy has been toking on the crack pipe too much this weekend during the 1,000th vacation WE paid for.

    Great work.

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Family-friendly phrasing heartily encouraged.

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