Hello, my name is Pepe and I am a loyal citizen of glorious People's Socialist Democratic Glorious Communist Nation of Cuba. Every día I go with my faithful proletariat mongel dog, Lupe, to glorious People's beach to gather up the tárbols left from the BP spill. These tárbols have very much uses to me. One time I put tárbol in deeferential of '53 Studebaker and the deeferential stop with that squeaking noise. You know that noise, the one like Fran Drescher being electrocuted? Sí, that noise gone now. Also, since the gas utility in glorious People's Socialist land of Cuba so unreliable, I use the tárbol on fire to cook the glorious socialist taro paste at mealtime. With tárbol, first time I eat the taro paste without the nausea ever since la revolución.
Now the glorious socialist newspaper report that the BP has plugged the d*mn hole and soon no more tárbols for Pepe. And you yanquis always wonder why so many the people hate you. The evil yanqui corporations always try to screw over the poor humble proletariat man like Pepe. That is why.
Meester Obama, unplug that hole!