ANOTHER UPDATE: We're at or near a point in this nonsense where feelings are going to be hurt. I'm done. And my dog just pulled an entire (*@#$ crab off the counter and ate it shell and all. I can't see how that passes through him safely. I'm in no financial position to do anything drastic if there is a problem, and future daughter-in-law didn't bother to tell me until about it until 5 hours after-the-fact. So I'm pretty well PO'd and not interested in continuing this.
UPDATE: Most blogs support gravatar images, and if you see something inane with my name on it but doesn't have a gravatar of Chance the Wondermutt running on the beach, you know it is phony.
Stuff that was below the fold deleted. I'm done.