Monday, August 30, 2010

Announcing the BarryGate 3000!

Want to keep troublesome pResidents off your property?  You need the BarryGate 3000!  Allows handy entry and exit to non-idiots, while keeping pResidents at bay.  Works just as well on nice days, when the pResident carries his pretty pink parasol.  Shown above with optional Slouching Amazon.  All yours for only 3 easy payments of $19.99 + shipping.


INSTALLATION NOT INCLUDED.  NOT EFFECTIVE ON WINDY DAYS WHEN THE LIGHTWEIGHT LIGHTWORKER MAY BE LIFTED ALOFT BY A STIFF BREEZE.  SIDE EFFECTS MAY INCLUDE HEADACHES AND NAUSEA.  OFFER NOT VALID IN HAWAII OR DC. 
Posted by at 12:35 PM
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10 comments:

  1. MattAugust 30, 2010 at 4:05 PM

    We surround the White House with those and we're set.

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousAugust 30, 2010 at 5:05 PM

    Hahahaaa. I'm with Matt. Who wants to start collecting the money to buy these things?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Randy-gAugust 30, 2010 at 6:32 PM

    Slouching amazon.....I love it!

    ReplyDelete
  4. infidel de ManahattaAugust 30, 2010 at 7:27 PM

    When does Barry apologize for the Barrygate?

    ReplyDelete
  5. AndyAugust 30, 2010 at 7:39 PM

    I'm giving ObozO some grace on this one. I think we've all had that moment when our synapses didn't quite fire in order, and it took us a second to reset the brain to figure out what's up, and what's not.

    What bugs me most about this whole deal is why in the mortal Hades Michelle feels the need to make her own clothes by letting her chirrens paint flour sacks, and cutting out the arm & head holes. I mean, she is the First Lady...don't she have a budget for wardrobe?

    ReplyDelete
  6. Reaganite IndependentAugust 31, 2010 at 3:33 AM

    Shame on you Innominatus for this terrible "gate" pun without the prerequisite apology!

    ReplyDelete
  7. innominatusAugust 31, 2010 at 8:51 AM

    Matt - you are a genius in a normal man's body!

    KS - send the dough to me. I'll keep an eye on it.

    Randy - thanks!

    infidel - I think that'll be covered in tonight's "I did a great job in Iraq" speech

    Andy - Yeah, I do at least as much idiotic stuff as barry, but there's no camera following me 24/7 to catch it. Neither is there a legion of swooning admirers carrying on about my first-rate intellect and unflappable coolness.

    RR - "I do hereby apologize on behalf of America for us being so much more awesome than any of the lesser countries, which is all of them."

    ReplyDelete
  8. Amusing BunniSeptember 1, 2010 at 1:17 PM

    Brilliant, Inno!
    Barrygate, I love it.

    ReplyDelete
  9. RandallSeptember 1, 2010 at 7:17 PM

    I don't see why the umbrella is a problem, she managed to those hips through the gate!

    ReplyDelete
  10. innominatusSeptember 1, 2010 at 9:12 PM

    Bunni - as usual, you are way too kind.

    Randy D. - You'd think, but Barry's not so hot at spatial relations.

    ReplyDelete

Family-friendly phrasing heartily encouraged.

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