Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Senator Dodd retires to spend more time with family; Dodd family hardest hit.


A Dodd family member struggles to avoid the Senator's halitosis

Senator Chris Dodd (D-Countrywide) has announced that he will not seek re-election and will instead spend more time with his family.  This has prompted cheers from conservatives and anti-incumbent tea party activists, but plaintive wails from those who are unfortunate enough to be part of Dodd's family.  "He is soooo boring!  Dennis Miller was right!" said one grandchild.  A niece was less kind, saying "When he tries to kiss me goodbye, his breath smells like the fishpacking plant down by the waterfront."  Dodd's departure may actually improve democrats' chances of holding the seat, for Dodd was polling well behind any theoretical challengers, including Satan.  Dodd's wife was most upset by the announcement: "All that money Chris got for all his shady deals?  It's all gone, man!  I spent it all on his previous campaigns!  When he's in DC that means he's not in Connecticut, so I spared no expense to get him re-elected each time.  Now he's going to be unemployed, AND we're totally broke, AND he's going to be home all the time.  I think I'll go chug an Arsenic McFlurry and end this misery."

Dodd, showing spirit and spunk, declared "I'm down but I'm not out.  I'll be back.  You probably don't think Obama can do anything that stupid, like giving me that job.  But I'm here to tell ya, Yes He Can!"

12 comments:

  1. Yeah, Dodd will get paid off somehow. I think it's a case where maybe there was some "suggestions" floated, that Dodd step down. Considering that he could have lost to Ted Bundy or Charles Manson. The Conservatives will have it more tough now. We have to hope that Dodd's stench hangs over the race enough to help.

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  2. That is the funniest pic caption & post, Inno.
    I'm glad this bum is leaving, Matt is right!

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  3. OMG that is so funny, I sit here in K-Roger chuckling quietly to myself and re-reading the best lines, capped of course with the "Arsenic McFlurry". Sounds like the engraving machine is humming along well, with plenti of time for you to compose these last few gems.

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  4. Poor Dodd family. Maybe we can put them in witness protection?

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  5. And to think we didn't elect him President in 2008

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  6. Oh that poor woman! Maybe she can keep him busy by making him put a bag of M&Ms in alphabetical order.

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  7. Hi, I used to be on a forum with you loooooong time ago, I was "motherbear"

    Anyway, you columns are fabulous, such a great sense of humor!

    Glad I found you, also, I live in Oregon as well, Springfield. So we are neighbors.

    I betcha rahm told the different dems to leave, that is my guess anyway.

    jOYCE

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  8. To be honest, all of these Dems bowing out worries me. The dems will have all new faces to run without the D.C. crud on their breath.

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  9. Matt - "Chris, we got an offer you can't refuse!"

    Amusing Bunni - Thanks!

    aA - sadly, the engraving machines ain't been making much noise (or money) so far this new year.

    Infidel - Witless Protection

    J_Bomb - Thanks!

    Matthew - "I coulda been a contender!"

    Velcro - "Half of these M&Ms are defective. They say 'W' 'W' with some weird heiroglyph in between."

    Joyce - Thanks for the visit. We Oregonians need to stick together.

    Odie - Yup. Anti-incumbency zeal kinda peters out when there are no incumbents.

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  10. I'm concerned that these guys who are retiring will be even more dangerous in the coming months now that they have nothing left to lose. When they do leave however, at least we can all say goodbye to bad rubbish.

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  11. Those poor Dodd family members. LOL!!!

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Family-friendly phrasing heartily encouraged.

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