Thursday, January 14, 2010

Bending the Curve of Verizon Suckitude

Verizon Wireless has been a pain in my pooper since late summer.  My kid, while spending the summer traveling, had his phone crap out.  Verizon said they'd send a replacement ASAP which they did and would bill us $200 which would be credited as soon as they received the dud phone from us.  The replacement phone promptly crapped out in the same fashion of the first.  My kid, reluctant to keep playing this game, bought a different model of phone with his own out-of-pocket dough.  At the end of the summer he was back from his travels and we sent in the original dud phone.  No credit appeared on the next bill.  We called.  They didn't know what we're talking about.  We gave them a FedEx tracking # and then they said "Oh, yeah!  Here's your credit!"  Next statement came, no credit appeared.  "We need your tracking #!!!" they said over and over, but we had misplaced it.  Remember, by this point, we've been fussing for about 3 months.  We refused to pay the $200, so they partially disabled our phones.  Incoming calls and texts still work, but no outgoing.  We called and called.  Every time, we'd have to start the whole story from the beginning, and every time they'd demand the tracking number.  After literal HOURS of phone tag with these fools, we'd decided to give up on them.  Then they said they'd split the difference with us.  I told them to go take a piss into a stiff headwind.   "Your phones, your policies, and your procedures suck, but you want ME to give YOU and extra $100?  Negative, Ghost Rider, the pattern is full!"

So today, out of the blue, they say they'll just go ahead and credit the $200.  Hmmm.  I was all set to change providers and then write them a really nasty, harshly worded note.  Kinda like Hillary sends to dictatorial thugs in Third World countries.  Now I don't know what I'll do.  They've acquiesced to my demands, but I still hate them.  Part of me doesn't want the hassle of switching companies, but the other part of me doesn't want to miss out on telling them exactly how I feel, using the most "vibrant" language I can muster.

Better sleep on it...


  1. Eff 'em. I say swithc. Then again all the phone companies are the same. They have all gotten so big that the customer service is crap.

  2. I pay the bills once a month.

    One day it occured to me that I was paying late fees on my Verizon bill. Then, being curious, I went back and found that for months I had been paying late fees.

    So, I called.

    I got a CSSR that was amazing. I explained that I paid my bills on the 23rd, or the following work day, and that I had hoped that the timing on my billing cycle could be changed.

    She assured me it could, and did.

    Then followed up with calls the following two months to make sure the the cycle change had achieved the desired result.

    Sure, she one of thousands of Verizon employees. But she was extremely impressive.

  3. I really haven't had a problem with them, but I would change once my contract is up, if I were you.

  4. We have also had our share of problems with them. They are all straightened out now. We found out the hard way HANDLE ANY PROBLEMS AT ONE OF THEIR STORES!!!!

  5. Don't sleep on it, dude. If it takes that long and that much anguish to get your due, fook 'em (see, I can be clever about the f-bomb!). No business is worth that kind of aggravation. Besides. You're just dying to write the following post, I know it:

    "Can you hear me now?"

    "What the fook did you say? I have Sprint, AT&T, fook all else and can't hear a damned thing you just said."

  6. Any chance we can get Obama to apologize to them?

  7. I agree with Woodsterman, ya gotta go in the store and throttle them. We've had some minor problems, but nothing like you went through.

  8. i've had shtuff like that at att&t. could you at least understand the person on the other end of the line? they're a phone co. you would think they could have numerous lines but no.


Family-friendly phrasing heartily encouraged.


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