Thursday, January 28, 2010

Obamoil


Alright people, listen up.  I'm back with a new amazing product.  Yes, I bring you Obamoil, the penetrating lubricant that can un-stick just about anything.  Really.  This stuff is slicker than dog snot on wet ice.  Put a little of this on a telephone pole and it'll slide right up a bumblebee's bunghole.  This is the slickest, slimiest stuff ever marketed.  A true breakthrough.  Gas pedal sticking on your Toyota?  No problem!  A little Obamoil and boom! you'll need cleats to keep your foot from sliding off.  Overreaching far-left agenda stuck in low approval ratings?  Apply Obamoil liberally to your State of the Union address and the electorate won't even feel your slicked-up hand reaching in their pocket.  'Cuz remember people, every time you hear somebody in government say "we need to invest in..." that word "invest" means spend your money.  Might as well make is as smooth and painless as possible!  But we can't do this all day.  You gotta order now.  Tell you what, call in the next 10 minutes and I'll throw in a can of berry flavored ShamBarry Obamoil.  It's edible, and it works way faster than Metamucil.  You'll love it.  Call now!

9 comments:

  1. I'm guessing Chris Mathews has a case of this stuff. Fitting that sleazebag Shlomi would be the barker for such a product.

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  2. I don't know who's sleazier, the Obamoil face or the Obamoil sales slut!

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  3. David Plouffe is getting Organizing for America to spray it all over the country as we speak.

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  4. Actually, Matthews has it delivered by tanker truck.

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  5. "..a bumblebee's bunghole" now THERE'S something I haven't heard in a while...

    Makes me sad cuz I miss Billy Mays [sniff]

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  6. But wait there's more! Order Obamaoil in the next 30 minutes and we'll thrown in a tax on cadillac health plans (unless you're union of course).

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  7. Cool post, Innominatus. He is an oily bastard.
    We're not buying what he's selling.

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  8. You say call, but I can't find the phone number. I need some for Babs Boxer. She just isn't slick enough yet.

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Family-friendly phrasing heartily encouraged.

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