Saturday, May 28, 2011

Air Traveler's Lament

This actually started out a long time ago as a comment I left at King Shamus' place. Finally got around to finishing it up.  Some people had trouble with my audio-only attempts in the past, so I used YouTube again since it is pretty much universally supported. 

I still can't sing and the editing has a few choppy spots but I hope you like it. The voice of the PA announcer and of the icky TSA guy are my wife! (So be nice!)


  1. Inno, the last time I flew I was padded down by this dreamy TSA agent. It was so wonderful I went back to the end of the line when he was finished. We're now dating ...

  2. I liked it~ Thanks for sharing

    @Odie, I knew you liked those pat downs..

  3. When Olivia Wilde starts working for the TSA and volunteers to pat me down I will fly again.

    Seriously, great job dude.

    Oh, and is it true anthony weiner sent you a pic of his dick on twitter?

  4. After my last time coming home when they made me and a couple other guys miss our flight because we were military, I can't stand them.

  5. Mrs. Inno does some great voices! Clever.

  6. It's a hit! Sorry about your balls tho.

  7. Inno--

    Funny thing is, rather than taking a vacation this year, I've decided to buy a new set of clubs. Which reminds me of a story about Arnold Palmer's wife.

  8. Pure awesomeness!! I loved the mention of Democrat Airways 666. Dems certainly do seem to come from the Devil.

  9. An old West Virginia Hillbilly saying: Ya can't get the water to clear up until you get the pigs outta the creek.

    *If any other of our presidents had doubled the national debt, which had taken more than two centuries to accumulate, in one year, would you have approved?*

    *If any other of our presidents had then proposed to double the debt again within 10 years, would you have approved? *

    *If any other of our presidents had criticized a state law that he admitted he never even read, would you think that he is just an ignorant hot head? *

    *If any other of our presidents joined the country of Mexico and sued a state in the United States to force that state to continue to allow illegal immigration, would you question his patriotism and wonder who's side he was on? *

    *If any other of our presidents had pronounced the Marine Corps like Marine Corpse, would you think him an idiot? *

    *If any other of our presidents had put 87,000 workers out of work by arbitrarily placing a moratorium on offshore oil drilling on companies that have one of the best safety records of any industry because one foreign company had an accident, would you have agreed? *

    *If any other of our presidents had used a forged document as the basis of the moratorium that would render 87,000 American workers unemployed would you support him? *

    *If any other of our presidents had been the first President to need a Teleprompter installed to be able to get through a press conference, would you have laughed and said this is more proof of how inept he is on his own and is really controlled by smarter men behind the scenes? *

    *If any other of our presidents had spent hundreds of thousands of dollars to take his First Lady to a play in NYC, would you have approved? *

    *If any other of our presidents had reduced your retirement plan holdings of GM stock by 90% and given the unions a majority stake in GM, would you have approved? *

    *If any other of our presidents had made a joke at the expense of the Special Olympics, would you have approved? *

    *If any other of our presidents had given Gordon Brown a set of inexpensive and incorrectly formatted DVDs, when Gordon Brown had given him a thoughtful and historically significant gift, would you have approved? *

    *If any other of our presidents had given the Queen of England an iPod containing videos of his speeches, would you have thought it a proud moment for America ? *

    *If any other of our presidents had bowed to the King of Saudi Arabia would you have approved? *

    *If any other of our presidents had visited Austria and made reference to the nonexistent "Austrian language," would you have brushed it off as a minor slip? *

    *If any other of our presidents had filled his cabinet and circle of advisers with people who cannot seem to keep current in their income taxes, would you have approved? *

    *If any other of our presidents had stated that there were 57 states in the United States, wouldn't you have had second thoughts about his capabilities? *

    *If any other of our presidents would have flown all the way to Denmark to make a five minute speech about how the Olympics would benefit him walking out his front door in his home town, would you not have thought he was a self-important, conceited, egotistical jerk. *

    *If any other of our presidents had been so Spanish illiterate as to refer to "Cinco de Cuatro" in front of the Mexican ambassador when it was the 5th of May (Cinco de Mayo), and continued to flub it when he tried again, wouldn't you have winced in embarrassment? *

    *If any other of our presidents had burned 9,000 gallons of jet fuel to go plant a single tree on Earth Day, would you have concluded he's a hypocrite?*

  10. *If any other of our presidents' administrations had okayed Air Force One flying low over millions of people followed by a jet fighter in downtown Manhattan causing widespread panic, would you have wondered whether they actually get what happened on 9-11? *

    *If any other of our presidents had failed to send relief aid to flood victims throughout the Midwest with more people killed or made homeless than in New Orleans, would you want it made into a major ongoing political issue with claims of racism and incompetence? *

    *If any other of our presidents had created the position of 32 Czars who report directly to him, bypassing the House and Senate on much of what is happening in America, would you have ever approved. *

    *If any other of our presidents had ordered the firing of the CEO of a major corporation, even though he had no constitutional authority to do so, would you have approved? *

    *So, tell me again, what is it about Obama that makes him so brilliant and impressive?
    *Can't think of anything? Don't worry. He's done all this in 24 months -- so you have that much time to come up with an answer .*

    *An' how about all those vacations he & Michelle take constantly, (with a more than a full enterage') paid for by American tax-payers?


Family-friendly phrasing heartily encouraged.

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