Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Stream of consciousness turbopost

Just when I think I've engraved it all, a customer brings in something new.  This time, it's the empty brass from a 105mm howitzer round from 1945.  Interesting, to me at least, is the size of the primer.  It isn't that much bigger than the primer in a rifle cartridge.  But this empty is roughly the size of my lower leg.

Reminds me of a couple years ago when commenter aA send me some .300 WSM rounds to be engraved on.  I think they'd make EXCELLENT Christmas tree ornaments!

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I have an idea for another "barry good" post (which would have been the 100th!) but the Line of Post Ideas never seems to intersect the Line of Free Time to Do Some Writing.  It's the back-to-school busy season so, maybe I'll just blast through the basics of it...

Biden is stupid so he gets barred from the campaign trail so he gets bored and goes exploring in the White House and gets lost in the attic where he finds an old Atari joystick then he eventually finds his way out and comes downstairs to see barry and crew discussing campaign topics but Joe is a distraction because he keeps pretending that he's playing Pac Man and making game noises and he says that of the 4 Pac man ghosts the red one is named Clyde and he's a redneck because he's red and named Clyde like that orangutan in that redneck Eastwood movie then he makes a "right turn, Clyde" move and accidentally punches Plouffe in the lip and barry says that Pac Man was prophetic because it predicted the ascension of MichelleO but Jarrett says "but profits are bad" and barry has to awkwardly explain the difference between "profits" and "prophets" and Joe gets confused and asks what's so profitic about the game and barry says that Pac Man is just like MichelleO in that she's always running around stuffing cookies in her fat mouth and complaining "barackabarackabaracka" while doing so but MichelleO overhears this and throws her ladies' size 17EEE silver lamé shoe just missing barry's head and MichelleO says "dang, I was aiming for his ears! how could I have missed?" and Axelrod says that after all those Jack Links commercials on TV that barry should know better and then Joe says "Mmmm, jerky" then barry realizes that it is the Special Joystick that Boooosh used to steer Katrina into the lower 9th in New Orleans and that he's now gonna use it to steer Hurricane Isaac onto Tampa and squash the nasty republicans but the cord is frayed and he loses control of the storm and then I start to run out of ideas so insert appropriate punctuation and filler content and maybe a couple bad puns and there ya go.

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The above reminds me of back at OSU when I was an engineering student.  There was this annoying international student who seemed to every one of my classes.  I think he was from Lebanon (or maybe Jordan) and he was ALWAYS asking the professor to repeat/explain things, no matter how simple they were.  Anyway, one day the prof was running late.  After a while, one of the other students said in frustration "Where the hell's the prof at?"

Annoying Arab Guy jumps up and yells "The Prophet?  Do you mean Mohammed?  YOU WILL NOT SPEAK OF HIM THIS WAY!!!!" complete with frantic gesturing and finger pointing.  That was one of the funniest things I've ever witnessed.  Especially when one factors in that nobody's vest exploded.

18 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. I wonder where that guy is now. Probably flipping goatburgers in Beirut.

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    2. If I know Moosslimes, He's probably flipping more then that on the goat before he makes 'em into burgers if you know what I mean...

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  2. Are you sure the joystick Joe found wasn't the one Barry was using when he was killing bin Laden?

    I've always wondered why alqaeda never put a hit out on Barry after that.

    Sadly, I can see the Moo-slim at OSU doing exactly as you described.

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  3. ROTFLSHISMP ...yeah, I had to create a new acronym because MAO didn't quite cut it.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks. Dunno what that stands for and I think that's for the best.

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  4. When I was at OSU, we had no annoying Arabs in the business school. They were all in the engineering or chemistry classes, wonder why that was.

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    Replies
    1. I'm sure they had nothing but noble intentions for their chemistry expertise.

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  5. The words of the prophet are written on subway walls and tenement halls. ~ Paul Simon

    This prof at guy is everywhere isn't he?

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    Replies
    1. Despite being a confirmed metalhead, I *really* like Simon and Garfunkle. I'm still pissed about my Concert In Central Park CD being stolen about 8 years ago. :(

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  6. "The Prophet? Do you mean Mohammed? YOU WILL NOT SPEAK OF HIM THIS WAY!!!!"

    Heh. That alone was worth the price o' admission.

    You could still flesh out the latest Barry Good scenario and have a winner, even if we know the plot basics.

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  7. I think I saw that scene once in a Marx brothers movie. Seeing how BO's into Marxism and all.

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  8. Innominatus: He will engrave anything.

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    Replies
    1. As long as he doesn't engrave Olivia Wilde. She is mine. I saw her first.

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  9. Wow, haven't been around in awhile, and I pick the one where my .300 WinMags are mentioned. I was telling somebody about those the other day and they loved it. They made a dang fine ornament, too!

    The Barry bit was good, I can almost fill in some of you great dialog in my head now! I would like to see it, you'd make it sterling, I'm sure. Then engrave it!

    Miss reading your "wisdom", or whatever it is! Whatever it is makes me laugh every time!

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  10. You gonna say anything about what your Beavers did to the Badgers?

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Family-friendly phrasing heartily encouraged.

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