Monday, May 17, 2010


There I sat all brokenhearted...
...tried to blog but only farted. 

Wanted to post something funny today but wasn't getting very far. Then I thought I might as well post some pissy rant. Nada. Just couldn't get the bile flowing today. Figured it would end up another sad, sad day without a post, when, what to my wonder ears should appear? The makings of a RealityPosttm! Wifey calls me, saying that stepgirl had come over to our house to use the washing machine and found the doors locked. Normally we're pretty lax about locking doors, 'cuz, well, it's a pretty safe part of town and, um, you'll see in a second...

So daughter finds the door locked, and goes around the side of the house and tries to slide the window open, but it is locked.  Chance, the 110lb Bloodweiler, couldn't see who it was through the closed drapes, so he freaked out and lunged at the window. 
HE TOTALLY FLAMIN' BLEW OUT MY WINDOW!!! Shards of broken glass spattered our daughter.  Then Chance was so happy to see that it was a friendly visitor, that he insisted on jumping outside.  THROUGH THE JAGGED  REMNANTS OF GLASS STILL DANGLING IN THE FRAME.  Daughter managed to keep him inside, but then she realized she'd screamed when the glass broke  and the sound of scream+barking dog+breaking glass=cops probably rolling up any second now, so SHE TOOK OFF!  Then I get the call and dash home wondering what I'd find.  I was seriously freaking, thinking I'd find a bled-out dog dead on the sofa.  

Whew!  No blood.  No injuries.  Well, daughter has a teensy cut on her hand - not even enough to merit a band-aid.  And the window that broke is the smaller sliding section and the frame appears to be fine.  Just need a new piece of glass cut to fit in it and all will be well.  The shards in the frame are like daggers and it is MIRACULOUS that neither nitwit kid nor nitwit dog are hurt.


  1. They were saved by the nitwit angel. Whew!

  2. *SIGH* *RELIEF* That was a miracle. Great news that both were unharmed.

  3. Seconded on everyone being OK. Lols otherwise. That's one helluva way to lose a window.

  4. ...AND a helluva way to get blog material!

  5. (Laughed out loud.)

    Kids. Can't live with them. Can't live without them.

    Or, can we?

  6. That's why you should have had rabid trained Alsatian marmosets. Although if they had tried to get in the house like your daughter did, your dog would have probably still reacted the same way.

  7. that's why you need a shih-tzu. or a cock-a-poo. want mine??

  8. Red - My family keeps the nitwit angel very busy.

    Teresa - Thanks.

    Matt - Same dog did similarly to the glass front of our oven a couple years ago. At least that was tempered glass so it wasn't so nasty.

    Velcro - I can't afford much more of
    that kind of writer's block!

    OG - Patti (below) will differ with me, but if it weren't for that whole "survival of the species" thing, I would be quite content in a kidless universe.

    JBomb - I think the marmosets would have jiggered the lock and got in without causing so much disturbance.

    Patti - Behold the fierceness of the shih-tzu!

  9. Perhaps we can have pResident Barry hold a beer summit with your dog and stepdaughter?

  10. I think I've kept the nitwit angel busy a time or too.

  11. To be filed under "you can't make this stuff up!"

    We have a lab and a shih tzu. Most days it's tomayto/tomahto in the ferocity department.

    Glad no one bled out!


  13. i am SO telling my husband on you. BLASPHEMY!!

  14. This comment has been removed by the author.

  15. All Your Windows Are Belong to Us.


Family-friendly phrasing heartily encouraged.

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