Ooh-ooh, that smell!

Anybody have ideas on how to convince a skunk that he should find another place to hang out?  See, I finally got that stupid pool set up and working but the last few days there's been a skunk in the area stinking up the whole backyard.  Kind of detracts from the enjoyment of the pool.  I've let the pastor of my church park his camper on an unused part of our lot, and I think Mr. Skunky is camping under it.  At least, that's where the smell seems strongest.  But the whole backyard is under a cloud of funk so I could be way off.  Truth be told?  I'm way too chicken to investigate thoroughly.

Is there anything that skunks really hate?  Disco music?  Hillary campaign posters?  TSA pat-downs?  So far I'm reluctant to "go nuclear" with poison or bullets.  I'd like to him to self-deport.  Trying to trap him and release him at the Benton County Democrats HQ out in the boonies seems like a recipe for disaster so I hope there's an alternative I'm not yet aware of.

Thanks!

Depp Thoughts with Joe Biden

 
I wish there was somebody out there who cared about me half as much as my dear Dr. Jill cares about getting that 35 point upper-half Yahtzee! bonus.

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Once I had a pet frog. I named him Reggie.

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I tend not to wash my hands after using the restroom, 'cuz that kinda implies that ya got some on ya.
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Ya know that little balloon thingy under a frog's chin?  I just poked a hole in Reggie's with a thumbtack.
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I don't do yoga but I find that the "downward dog" posture works pretty good in the bathroom.  Keeps me from wiping the tail of my shirt into my buttcleft.
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Speaking of which, I think I need to go wash my hands.
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Ha!  Now Reggie sounds like a whoopie cushion!
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Harry told everybody he got whupped when his workout band snapped.  Don't believe him.  He isn't strong enough to stretch a rubber band far enough to shoot it across the office.
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What really happened is he got whupped when MichelleO snapped.  See, we were all over at my place for dinner, and Michelle spilled some Merlot.  Harry said "Lamont, ya big ugly dummy!" and, well...
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Don't tell anybody, but Hillary is really rattled by how well Bernie Sanders is doing.  When she's sober, she's twitchin' like Steve Sax trying to make a routine throw to first base.
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The Obama administration has proved that competency  is no longer a requirement for the Presidency so I think I'll run for office one more time.
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The stress of having to run against me *and* Bernie would probably cause Hillary to have a stroke.  Not sure if anybody would notice, though.
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She still thinks the media will do some kind of deus ex machina and save her floundering campaign.  But with Bill around, I think a "d'oh sex maniac" moment is more likely.
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Don't worry, she's not sober very often.