Friday, April 9, 2010

Support Bart at ShtupPAC

Hey there, I'm Bart Stupak and I'm here to announce ShtupPAC, my new political action committee!  I have decided that it is time to make my exit from the House of Representatives and head in a new direction.  The Tea Party reaction to my vote for barrycare had nothing - I repeat, nothing - to do with this decision.  It is true that they scared me so bad I had to change the pads in my nursing bra, but that fear did not factor into my decision to not seek re-election.  That is because I am able to separate the personal from the political.  Besides, my family members back in Michigan were tweeting all the time about how much they missed running their fingers through my fabulous Grecian Formula hairdo.  It gets embarrassing after a while.

As you are certainly aware, there are many incumbents who face a serious uphill climb in their re-election bid this time around.  If you donate to the RNC, they'll waste it on lesbian bondage-themed nightclubs and limo rides.  If you donate to the DNC, they'll, um, I dunno.  They'll probably spend it on botox and drum circle performances.  So the best place to send your money is to my new PAC.  The ShtupPAC.  Together we shtup reclaim America!!!

7 comments:

  1. After all of his great years working for this country, the man deserves his non-ObamaCare and full pension for all the rest of his years. He's an F***ing coward for not wanting to face the voters.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm sure he's leaving to spend more time with his family. The anal rape he will experience at the polls has absolutely NOTHING to do with it. NOTHING at all.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Another one bites the dust. As Ron White says, Ya can't fix ShtupPAC!

    ReplyDelete
  4. What a baby, he destroys us, then quits.
    I'm sure obummer promised him something for
    selling us out.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I wonder what kind of appointment or sweet job offer he'll get?

    ReplyDelete
  6. There’s a great image going around showing Zero standing next to Stupak wearing a shirt saying “I’m with Stupid.” Stupak says: “Ahh … it’s Stupak.” Zero says: “Same thing.”

    ReplyDelete
  7. Short but effective, like Chuck Norris.

    Or Ernest Hemmingway.

    ReplyDelete

Family-friendly phrasing heartily encouraged.

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