Owwwww, I'm getting old!

Dang.  I've checked all my usual sources but can't find anything new that barry and crew have screwed up.  So not much to blog on there.  Been working on my reader quest to wrap up the innomipoint deal, but that's turning into a galactic pain in the pooper.  Dunno when I'll finally finish that up.  That leaves me with...what exactly?

Guess I'll take a cue from barry and talk about - myself!

So the other day the landlord called and said they wanted to come over next week to prune the trees in the backyard.  My yard ain't huge, but it is decent sized.  Unfortunately, I've had my young-adult kids kinda move in and out and in over the last couple years, and they always leave more junk behind when they subsequently leave.  Hence by backyard is full of CRAP.  Like old furniture under tarps kind of crap.  Rusty bikes.  Dead or at least dying refrigerator.  Balky lawnmower that hasn't run right for years.  All stuff they promised they'd come and retrieve as soon as they "found the right place."  Yeah.  Oh, and not to forget all the doo my two big dogs like to do in the yard.  The neighbors' trees on three sides are huge and there is little sun out there.  Grass doesn't survive.  If it weren't for moss and dandelions I'd have NO groundcover. 

But my landlords are super cool and they deserve better, so wifey and I decided to tackle the yard today before they showed up.  Perfect weather for it - mostly sunny and high 60s.  But man, that was a lot of dandelions to yank!  (Translation: man, that was a lot of back pain!)  We have this ridiculous shed back there which has remained mostly empty due to it's back-busting and skull-crackingly low roof.  We got nearly all the junk into the shed.  Despite all of the "protective" tarp action, some of the cheap-o particle board furniture was so waterlogged it literally fell apart in my hands.  But finally the back yard was "presentable."  On to the front...

The front is mostly junipers.  Gack.  I hate them.  Started off by just raking up the fir needles from the neighbors' tree and lots of dead juniper sticks.  Then I started noticing a lot of litter.  I dug deeper.  Much deeper.  My arms bear scratches proving just how deep I delved into the juniper patch.  In the middle of the juniper patch, there were a bunch of empty beer and pop bottles, fast-food wrappers and assorted junk like old light bulbs.  There were a couple kids' toys, and even a baby pacifier.  TONS of plastic wrappers from granola bars and little packs of peanuts - the kind of snacky junk you'd get at the convenience store.  APPARENTLY I'VE HAD A SMALL FAMILY OF HOBOS CAMPING IN MY FRONT YARD.  Undetected.  Ninja Hobos.  Great.  That's all I need.  More anxiety about being surrounded by stealth hobos - I thought I'd finally overcome that neurosis.  Guess not.  No wonder my dogs sniff around so tenaciously when they go out front.  So, being the total non-green thumb I have like zero gardening tools.  Much exertion with the bowie knife later, I finally have a path through the junipers and finish cleaning out the "campsite" debris.  At least the path can now do double duty as a useful little aisle I can sic the dogs down if the interlopers like what I've done with their place and want to move back in.

Oddly enough, my front yard somehow looks much better and yet looks almost exactly the same as it did before I started.  But I now ache like a fragile old coot and the scratches on my arms are still stinging noticeably.  My knife is dull and the yard debris containers provided by the garbage company are overflowing on the sidewalk.  I'm an engraver!  I sit on my butt all day!  I inspect my work with a jeweler's loupe!  I ain't cut out for this kind of hardship!  Where are all these (*&@#^$ illegal alien day laborers when you really need one?!?!?