Wow, Blogger has been really constipated today. Lessee if this'll post...
Perry Cleeze and Testy Cleeze gathered up the scroll, which was surprisingly intact. Certainly beaten and buffeted, but mostly legible. Some parts were blurred and smudged, so the Interpreters of the Scroll were consulted. Some of the Interpreters looked upon the smudges and declared "I see an umbra! An umbra of a right to cut up babies!" while others said "The Commerce Clause! The ink of the Commerce Clause has bled, and now encompasses EVERYTHING!"
Then another of the Interpreters, Antonin Scalia (a man so cool there is no need to lamely try to Hellenize his name) said "BAH! I am the expert in Original Intent! I know what the scroll said before it was damaged, and it said no such thing!" and he proceeded to punch the four psycho Interpreters right in their slobber-glossed lips. Then the Interpreter known for wavering saw this and grew frightened. He chose to side with the Smart Interpreters on every issue, and all the people lived happily every after.