Friday, April 23, 2010

Meet the Candidates!

Hey, everybody!  It's time to talk about the candidates for Governor of Oregon!

Top row, L-R

John Kitzhaber (D-bag), former Governor.  This political retread had his two terms back in the '90s but can't wait to get back in the mansion.  PERS retirement benefits have gotten a lot fatter since he left office, and he'd no doubt like to squeeze a little more out of the system.  He brought us the wildly successful and wildly expensive Oregon Health Plan.  Wondering if there'll be rationing under barrycare?  Look to Oregon to see how that will work out.  Since demand for coverage far exceeds available funds, we have a LOTTERY to see who can enroll!
Pros:  Looks good holding a fishing pole during photo-ops.  I could look at his 'stache and maybe pretend he is actually John Bolton and the last 30 years of bad democrats have just been a bad dream.
Cons:  Too numerous to list

Bill Bradbury (D-bag), former Oregon SecState.  This hero of the left is a greenie par excellence and devoted Al Gore groupie.  Also very skilled at manipulating petition requirements to keep citizen initiatives off the ballot.
Pros: Able to do the impossible: run to the left of Kitz
Cons:  That schoolmarm looking-over-the-glasses thing would make me want to punch people.

Chris Dudley (R), former NBA player.  This man invented 6.02x10^23 new ways of missing free throws in the most ugly ways imaginable. Seems genuinely conservative.
Pros:  Looks kinda like Mike Rowe standing in front of a funhouse mirror.
Cons:  Prone to noncommittal answers to routine questions.  If he already acts like an experienced politician before even holding office, what'll happen after he's been in office for a while?

Bottom Row, L-R

Bill Sizemore (R), agitant.  This anti-tax crusader is the bane of public-sector unions.  Would slash government spending and have fun doing so, while having trouble keeping his own personal finances in order.
Pros:  Think Chris Christie with a big mouth and a desire to rub lefties the wrong way.  Would provide a bottomless supply of sound-bites.
Cons:  Knows many cons, having spent some time in the pokey.

Allen Alley (R-ino), insider.  Worked in previous dem administrations and seemed a little too comfortable doing so.
Pros:  He could actually win and put an R in the mansion for the first time since I was in elementary school.
Cons:  If he actually won, I don't think I'd notice a difference.

Jon Lim (R), businessman.  Says all the right things.  Would make the state more jobs- and business-friendly.  Seems like more of a wonk than a leader, but that is OK. 
Pros: Says all the right things.  Would make the state more jobs- and business-friendly.
Cons: Thick accent.  Sorry if this is too un-PC, but turning the state around is going to take some powerful communication and persuasion skills.  Dunno if he can really stir people up when they have to listen closely just to understand his words.

So, there we are.  I guess I'm leaning towards Dudley or Lim at this point.  Just wish I could get really fired up about somebody in this race.


  1. If I lived in Oregon, either Dudley or Lim would be my choice also.

  2. Well then, ya oughta move to Oregon! We can use an extra sane mind or two around here!

  3. Vote for the one that can pass the rutabaga test.

  4. Wow, it really doesn't seem as if there is too much to choose from up there. Why don't you run?

  5. Wow... You're California screwed. Good luck with that

  6. You think you have it bad-- we in Upstate NY are conservative but are weighed out by the idiots downstate

  7. Dudley can't be ex NBA. Where are his tattoos?

  8. Bill Sizemore kind of looks like a younger Bill Clinton on a bad hair day! LOL

  9. Odie - The dems in the race suck so bad, they could suck a rutabaga through kinked radiator hose.

    Matt - If I ran, during the vetting process the media might find out that I am actually an infamous international assassin. It would be really bad if that info went public.

    Classicaliberal - a lot of Califreaks have moved up here and it is starting to show...

    Matthew - same deal here. A couple populous counties run the whole state.

    Infidel - Do you really want to know?

    George - Never noticed that 'til you mentioned it but that is so true.

  10. Go with Dudley.

    Why? I dunno. Because he can't be any worse than of those other clowns.

  11. I spoke with Chris a couple of weeks ago. It isn't common for a "normal" person to get one-on-one time with candidates, but I had a chance and took it.

    As I watch this campaign unfold, it is becoming clearer for me that the best choice, for the party and the state, is Allen.

    Chris has a couple of campaign people who are serious trouble for a campaign. I'm not the only one who sees this. Dan the Man put out a campaign presser announcing that one of the first things a Governor Dudley would do is to set up a commission to determine where cuts need to be made in state government.

    On the other hand, Allen has already outlined that he is going to return to zero-based budgeting. That, in and of itself, is a huge shift in executive direction after 23 years of Democrat governors. Imagine, state agencies and commissions having to defend their budgets!

    Allen is pro-investment, pro-jobs, pro-liberty and small government.

    I think you'd notice a difference.

    Oh, and I like John. Does he have a chance? No. The voters in his district have had a chance to meet him and get to know him. I don't think he's got a chance of getting over the roadblocks of being very different, with a very strong Asian accent, to a majority of Oregon voters. At least, not this time. But his heart and head are in the right place.

    Yet, without regard to who wins, any Republican candidate will have my full and complete support. Without reservation. We've seen what has happened to this state since the 1986 election.

  12. Hi Inno, I'm with Matt, Why don't you put your hat in the ring...hee hee.
    Have a fun weekend.


Family-friendly phrasing heartily encouraged.


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