Monday, April 26, 2010

Barry invigorating stroll

[MichelleO] "Barack, you need to get some exercise.  You know how hard I'm working on the War on Obesity, and you're getting flabby.  You're shnorking down cheeseburgers and pies like you're the second coming of Bill Clinton!  It's totally undermining my efforts against obesity."

[Obama] "You know what's really undermining your War on Obesity?  Your butt!  It's huuuge!  If your right cheek wanted to talk to your left cheek, it'd have to first dial '1' for long distance!"

[MichelleO] "Ha ha.  Very funny, Mr. Flab. It's time for you to get some exercise."

[Obama] "I get plenty of exercise.  I golf. A lot.  Even more than Booosh."

[MichelleO] "Big deal.  You ride around in a golf cart making 'vrooom, vroom' noises.  And you make Gibbs carry your golf bag.  You get a better cardio workout when your do your one-arm bong curls and needlepoint projects, and that ain't saying much.  We are going out in the woods and going on a nature hike.  It'll be good for you.  Besides, it'll help with your 'green' cred."

[Obama] "The woods?  There are like, you know, spiders and snakes and stuff out there. No way."

[MichelleO] "It's OK.  I'll protect you."

[Obama] "Really?  Well, then, I guess.  As long as it is a short trip."

Later that day, deep in the woods...

[Obama] "Look!  A butterfly!"

[MichelleO] "Barry!  That's not a butterfly, it's a cougar!  Run!"

[Obama, scampering away in a panic] "Gaah!  I'm gonna be kitteh chow!"

[MichelleO] "Psych!"

[Obama, regaining composure] "Not appreciated."

[MichelleO, laughing] "You crack me up.  You shriek like a banshee that's been snapped in the azz with a damp gym towel."

The couple continue down the trail.  They experience beautiful scenery and the serenity of nature.  They amble past a pond, where the pResident attempts to skip a rock but misses the water entirely.  "The rock slipped out of my hand" he later explained to the press corps(e) - who actually believed him.

[MichelleO] "Barack, isn't this wonderful?  I'm loving this time outdoors with you.  I love you so much... Barack? Barry?  Barry?"

She turns and looks back, and sees her husband collapsed on the trail some distance behind her.

[MichelleO, running back to her man] "Oh no!  He's got a chunk of pie stuck in his pulmonary artery!  This is bad!"

[MichelleO] "Barry!  Wake up!  You can't leave me now!"

[Obama, coming to] "The pain!"

[MichelleO] "What's the matter?  Is it your heart?"

[Obama] "Nah.  I got a little pebble in my Bruno Magli patent leather hiking boot.  I was overcome by the excruciating pain, but I'm OK now."

[MichelleO, rolling eyes] "Pathetic.  Truly pathetic.  I'll meet you back at the White House."

16 comments:

  1. At least he is moving out of the comfort of his semi-round office. I would be more encouraged if he had gotten a weapon and actually shot at something and hit it.

    Dreaming, I know. This is really good stuff, but MichelleO sounds almost reasonable. Do you have, like a crush on her or something? Going gaga for her guns (like the press has)?

    Did he pack a Lunchable for his snak?

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  2. aA - Obama w/ gun? Deputy Barry Fife! I was a little soft of MichelleO this time. I'll make up for it, promise. And as for the Lunchable, yes, and he enjoyed it. But he had to get MichelleO to help him separate the little pieces of cheese that had kind of welded themselves tOgeTHer IN the MOSt INfuRiatiNG manner.

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  3. "The rock slipped out of my hand" he later explained to the press corps(e) - who actually believed him.


    Hahahaaa.

    Obambi couldn't hit water if he fell out of the Titanic.

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  4. The last time Hopey hit the water was when he tried to walk on it.

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  5. King Shamus - Silly, the Titanic never would've sunk because barry would have sent the iceberg a sternly worded letter.

    Old Man -Yep. And somehow it was Bush's fault.

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  6. If Barry really commented on Michelle's butt, she would have snapped him in half like a twig, probably with her left cheek. The butterfly/cougar line killed me. Nice job.

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  7. Mobama is truly the kick (big) ass in charge.

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  8. Inno, I'm thinking that this post is awfully cruel, and doesn't serve us well as a nation of underling serfs a'servin' King ObozO!

    You know what comes to my mind when I ponder Michelle & Barry's intimate moments?

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  9. Press "corps(e)"

    They might as well be, give how useful they are.

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  10. Aww crap. Now when I take a walk with the wife I'm thinking of the Obamas.

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  12. Poor Barry. Perhaps he should buy the Deadwood DVD box set. He could learn a lot from Al: "Pain or damage don't end the world. Or despair or [fargin'] beatings. The world ends when you're dead. Until then, you got more punishment in store. Stand it like a man ... and give some back"

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  13. Wow. I never ceased to be amazed how you get the inside scoop on this stuff, Inno! I too, liked the butterfly/cougar part!

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  14. Hide in a tree, Big foot is coming.

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  15. I wish they had taken their stroll across the surface of the Gulf on Mexico -- they could wave their hands and the sheen and spi;ll would evaporate! (And the press would actually believe it.)

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  16. Thank you for posting this! I find you blog VERY interesting!!

    Steve
    Common Cents
    http://www.commoncts.blogspot.com

    ps. Link Exchange???

    ReplyDelete

Family-friendly phrasing heartily encouraged.

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