Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Is it Poltergeist or Pet Semetary?
I have inside me blood of tigers!
That is NOT winning!
Sorry. I'll stop.
But ya gotta admit that current democrat Congressman Wu and future democrat Congressman Sheen go together like peanut butter and jelly.
Anyway. Last week I blogged about my home improvement adventures. I'm starting to wonder if the house was built over an ancient burial ground or something. So far no zombies crawling out from under the swimming pool, but I think that's mainly because I don't have a swimming pool. Since that post, something has failed/gone wrong/acted weird pretty much daily. There must be some kind of evil at work...
Like the kitchen faucet, geysers have figured prominently. First off, the side of the sink with the garbage disposal wouldn't drain. When I turned on the disposal, water slowly went down but started coming up the other side of the sink. It was almost like there was some kind of nefarious nexus of evil connecting the two. Or maybe a pipe. Over the course of a couple hours, the water eventually receded from both halves. Some months ago my stepdaughter needed to borrow our plunger. Then she moved back in with us but I can't find that plunger in any of her stuff. Poltergeists messing with my plunger again. So I filled the sink with really hot water and turned on the disposal, hoping to shake the clog loose. Phew! The fountain in front of Caesar's Palace shoots up from the other side of the sink and gets yuckwater all over me and the counter and the appliances and the floor. Poltergeists messing with my plumbing again. I wish that weird old lady from the movie was still alive, 'cuz I could really use her services right about not. Don't go into the light, I mean, don't go into the pipe! Then all the water went down and things have been fine since, with no further effort from me. Bizarre.
Except that the poltergeists just moved downstream a little, 'cuz the next day, the bottom of the dishwasher has about 2" of standing water in it. I tried to clear the drain thingy, but there was no clog. Just the broken-off end of a steak knife that somehow managed not to cut me up. Hah! Take that, poltergeists! You suck! You didn't cut me! But it wouldn't drain for the life of me. So I stuck the handle of a spoon into the little slot to trick the machine into thinking the door was closed. Then I turned it on. Like I said above, geysers figure prominently. But I did manage to turn to little knob to the part of the cycle where it should drain, and it did! Then I got re-acquainted with the mop and some towels.
The next day, I'm wiped-out tired from having to get up early for the second job. I'm trying to sleep when the dogs blow an o-ring and totally freak out. Some time later they were settled enough for me to hear a scratching noise under the house. Very clearly. Last year I had a similar problem. Turns out that the vents in the foundation have wire mesh built into them, and one of the mesh screens was torn out. Some critter was wriggling through that little gap and crawling around down there. Even banging on the pipes. It was EXTREMELY annoying. So I took a couple of those concrete pavers that formed the raised flowerbed and blocked the vent with 'em. Within a couple days the noise stopped. I figured I'd have the stink of a rotting possum or somesuch to deal with, but that never happened. Just peace and quiet. 'Til the other night. And this wasn't just a little mouse-ish kind of scratch. This was a pissed off animal wanting out. I think it is an undead possum that's been scheming up his vengeance ever since I trapped him under there. Or Biden looking for his Pez dispenser. One of the two. 'Cuz I can find no way a decent-sized scratchy critter can still get under my house.
If I don't get some relief from all this, I'll end up being the third side of the Wu/Sheen triangle of crazy.