A young couple in my church gave birth yesterday to their first child. A boy. 9lbs 13oz. They named him Patton David.
Patton David... Two of history's most illustrious buttkickers. Nazi-busting giant slayer.
Try. Try as hard as you want. For as long as you want. Wear yourself out trying to be as cool as a kid named Patton. You'll never even come close to being that cool. Sorry if that bursts your bubble. Now, go and get along with your cool but not quite Patton-cool existence.