Sunday, January 23, 2011

Your coolness has been measured and found lacking

A young couple in my church gave birth yesterday to their first child.  A boy.  9lbs 13oz.  They named him Patton David.

Patton David...  Two of history's most illustrious buttkickers.  Nazi-busting giant slayer.

Try.  Try as hard as you want.  For as long as you want.  Wear yourself out trying to be as cool as a kid named Patton.  You'll never even come close to being that cool.  Sorry if that bursts your bubble.  Now, go and get along with your cool but not quite Patton-cool existence.

13 comments:

  1. Much truth their, but the lad does have big shoes to fill.

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  2. If the little one shoots high due to his knowing that he has big shoes to fill then he will do just fine.

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  3. He'll be called Pat for short. G a y...

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  4. There's power in that name LOOONG time!!!

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  5. Hey, that little guy is half grown already! Good on the parents for
    picking a name they wanted rather than something from "100 Boy Names"

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  6. That's a good name for a kid!

    And to think I was going to name my first child "Ringo."

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  7. That is a cool name.

    I, on the other hand, was named in a San Diego bar after Terry Moore, a Howard Hughes paramour who entertained my father ( and other sailors) in Korea in an ermine bikini. What does this portend for me? Or do I want to think about that?

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  8. In 100 years, Patton will literally mean 'Nazi-Busting'.

    As in, "Hitler would've taken over Europe had it not been for a punch of tough pattons from America.

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  9. There are so many names out there. I couldn't pull the trigger on a cool name until #5, Reagan Alexander. It's not Patton, but we like it.

    Patton on the first shot - how do you follow that up?

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  10. I, on the other hand, was named in a San Diego bar after Terry Moore, a Howard Hughes paramour...

    We have a WINNER!

    I claim the Booby Prize... My parents had a twisted sense of humor. I'm Norman, my sister is Norma; there are just the two of us. I don't think I would have been convicted if I'd have burned down the family manse with them in it.

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  11. Patton scared the poo out of the fascists. So I have high hopes for this kiddo.

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Family-friendly phrasing heartily encouraged.

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