On this third day in the Year of our Lord Two Thousand Half-score and One, proclaim in all the realm these Resolutions for the New Year:
Be it resolved, that I will become the funniest right-of-center blogger in the known universe. Note that I don't plan on writing more posts or funnier posts. 'Cuz that sounds hard. I think it would be easier to just chainsaw all the people that are funnier than me until I am #1. I'm all about taking the easy way. Nothing personal, Odie, but would you happen to have any 2 stroke oil I can borrow for my saw?
Be it resolved, that I really will post more. Gonna aim for 1/day. But it is already Jan 3 so I'm already behind by a couple posts. Dang.
Be it resolved, that I will link my blogfriends more often. 'Cuz there's nothing more exciting than getting linked by some nobody who's lucky to get 25 hits a day on his own blog. I don't think there's a word yet in our language that means "the total polar opposite of an Insta-lanche" so "getting linked by innominatus" will have to do for now. As an example of this new policy, check out this vid at the top of the post that A Man of Wonder put up a couple days ago. While I don't live in Portland, I do live in a college town that isn't far (enough) away from Portland so I have to deal with the same kind of people. I'll accept your pity via paypal.
Be it resolved, that I will be more thankful towards those who link to me. Like, just last week I caught linkage from Andy and Six and possibly others. Thankfully the pharmacist says he has a salve that will help.
Lastly, be it resolved that I will continue my relentless mockery and denigration of liberals with an ever-increasing fervor, zeal, and intensity. Except when I'm not feeling up to it.