Thursday, October 8, 2009

NASA attempts the impossible

Dateline: Friday, October 9.

NASA is in the final phases of an ambitious project to determine the composition of the lunar landscape near the Moon's southern pole. Opinions vary on what can be learned, but scientists worldwide are on the edge of their seats in anticipation of the results. The experiment involves the deployment of a huge bomb that will cause a debris field to reach as high as six miles above the lunar landscape, with a vehicle orbiting overhead assaying the dust and relaying the findings back to earth. Some scientists hope that they will find non-trivial amounts of water ice, which would be exceedingly valuable to future manned moon outposts. Water ice could also be useful in missions to Mars.

Other scientists hope the extremely sensitive instruments will find those elusive yet hoped-for traces of President Obama's accomplishments. As President of the Universe, Obama has certainly brought hope and change to all planetary objects in our solar system, they claim. Less optimistic observers rebut that by asserting that even on Earth there is a dearth of evidence to support their Presidential Accomplishment Theory, and that this experiment is a colossal waste of resources. "It would be easier to catch neutrinos with a pool skimmer than to find anything that would validate their lame-o Presidential Accomplishment Theory" scoffed one cosmologist who chooses to remain anonymous. "And I'm talking about on Earth" he added.

When asked why this bomb system was being used on the moon, rather than say, Iran, NASA scientists' only response was "Huh?"

3 comments:

  1. "It would be easier to catch neutrinos with a pool skimmer than to find anything that would validate their lame-o Presidential Accomplishment Theory" scoffed one cosmologist...

    Gold.

    ReplyDelete
  2. This will prove how much tougher the moon is than Washington's resolve.

    ReplyDelete

Family-friendly phrasing heartily encouraged.

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