Friday, October 23, 2009

Halloween plans?

OK, I think Halloween is kinda stupid. I don't really participate. I'm not all holier-that-thou-it's-of-the-devil against it. I just think it is kinda silly. Plus, I live in a town full of college kids whose raucous parties scare trick-or-treaters into staying home. There also aren't even that many kids anyway, 'cuz the town is full of liberals who'd rather drive their Subarus down to the river and paddle their organic kayaks around than stay home and make babies.

In past years, I'd buy one bag of candy but then only get about 3 trick-or-treaters, and end up with the rest of the bag to fatten myself up on. As I'm getting older, I'm trying to avoid doing that. So in recent years, I've just gone to Taco Bell and grabbed a few extra hot sauce packets. I'm smooth about it, so the little kids don't know any better - as long as I throw something in their treatbag they go away happy. Probably spittin' mad when they get home and take inventory, but, hey, they got a free hot sauce so shut up about it already.

This year may be different. I think I'll dress up as Glenn Beck. Glenn Beck is scary. Glenn Beck is on FOX News fer cryin' out loud! Nothing strikes fear into the tiny, whithered heart of a progressive libtard like someone from Fox showing up on their doorstep. You know it is true, just ask Barry!

7 comments:

  1. I personally think that Halloween's one of the coolest times of the year.

    Maybe cause I was born during the Fall.

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  2. Halloween doesn't do much for me either Inno. But I love the Glenn Beck idea. Actually if you just stuck some sticks in your lawn with blow ups of Beck, Hannity, Limbaugh etc. attached to them, nobody would come to your door. On the other hand, you might be scraping egg off your house the next day.

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  3. The idea of a Beck costume is hilarious. Though the scariest one of all would be Keith Olberman!

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  4. I heard this great one the other day...

    What am I going to be for Halloween? Drunk.

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  5. This year I think I'll dress up as a teleprompter - "pay no attention to that teleprompter behind the curtain!"

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  6. "the best laid halloweens of mice and men..."

    Whatever you do, it seldom goes exactly as planned, Dr. Dave, you might not be able to be as drunk as you planned; Matt A, you're still young, that will change.

    OTC, when life gives you an egged house, you make lemonade...huh...

    Innominatus: I told one of my students about your hot sauce "candy" this evening, and she liked it, but immediately gave the "that's so mean" disclaimer, as she laffed and no doubt filed it away in her brain for Saturday!

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Family-friendly phrasing heartily encouraged.

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