Friday, October 9, 2009

Barry Humbling Award


[Rahm] "Sire, wake up! You've won the Nobel Peace Prize"

[Obama, semi-alert] "No bell pees? How bells did I have to pee over to win that?" [rolls over, back to sleep]

[Rahm] "Sire! You won the Nobel Prize! AND the Stanley Cup!"

[Obama, alert] "Stanley Cup? Don't be mocking my momma!"

[Rahm] "No, sire! You've won the NHL championship, and the Nobel Prize!"

[Obama] "The NHL is just a bunch of toothless white guys, kinda like Arkansas. Screw them. But the Peace Prize, that sounds kinda cool."

[Rahm] "We must get you to Oslo, ASAP. I've already prepped the plane."

Later, in Norway, addressing the crowd...

[Obama] "I'd like to thank the academy..."

[MichelleO, snatching microphone from Barry] "Imma let you finish, but first, I need to say, that for the first time in my adult life, I am proud of the Nobel Committee." [Gives mike back]

[Obama, head swelling slightly] "I am extremely humbled by all this."

[Head swelling more, halo getting tight] "When I bomb people in Pakistan, I do it only in the most humane and painless ways"

[Applause]

[Head getting bigger, halo stretched taut] "And I only rendition jihadis to moderately savage countries for interrogation. And I think I may even address global poverty by building my brother a slightly larger mud hut."

[Applause]

Head now impossibly big, almost proportionate to ears. Halo can't cope and explodes, sending little bits of hopeychange all over front row of audience, just like a Gallagher show.

[Obama] "So, in closing, I must return to the USA and continue my dismantling of a once-great nation."

[Thunderous applause]

8 comments:

  1. Funny stuff, Innominatus. I'd imagine his head is SO SWELLED now, it looks like a hot air balloon...and we know he is SO full of hot air, he can heat the east coast for 25 winters! Nice pic too, did you make it?

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  2. Found a pic on Google Images of Barry getting some kind of scarf thingy being put on him by those two dudes - I think it was from commencement at Notre Dame. Then I just fiddled around to make the halo and flava flav medal.

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  3. Who knew that "just words, just speeches" could win you a peace prize. This definitely qualifies as joke of the day.

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  4. "dismantling of a once-great nation"

    Just one of the many new criteria for the prize.

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  5. I loved looong time Michelle snatching up the Mr Microphone!!! Too good! "For the 1st time in my"...BWAHAHAHAhahaha!!!

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  6. the little bits of hopeychange and the Gallagher show did it for me! So Dang Funny!

    And every time I hear them invoke Jimmy Carter, I always add in my head, "...after his failed presidency..."

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  7. Good one innominatus. I would think that his head has some hyper-dimensional capacity for growth.

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  8. You never fail to make me laugh ... thank you Sir.

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Family-friendly phrasing heartily encouraged.

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