Friday, September 24, 2010

Wierd and Wacky Elections!!

Dear people of Alaska, please do not be alarmed at my party switching.  Yeah, I was a Republican, then I was kinda Libertarian and now I'm kind of None-of-the-Above.  Isn't that what you really want?  Don't all the parties pretty much suck? I think so, too.  So write me in! 

Sorry, Murk.  See us here?  We're all turning to the right.  We're voting for Joe Miller.

Wait a sec!  Joe Miller is too far right.  That other guy is too far left.  I'm like Goldilocks, I'm jusssst right!  So vote for me!  Please!  Don't make me get a real job!  Besides, if I lose, I'll vote with the dems during the lame duck session.  You'll get cap-n-trade and cardcheck and LOTS more government spending if I lose.  I'm like one of those muslims that gets all pissy when you talk about moving the GZM - If I don't get my way, I'll go from reasonable to fully freaked out.  So, vote for me...  If you know what's good for you.

Please, Murk.  Just shut up and go away.  Go to work for a lobbyist firm or something.  Preferably far away.

Hello people of Florida!  Like my good friend Lisa Dumkowski, I strike the perfect balance of left and right. 

Aw geez.  We thought you finally went away.  Do we really have to deal with you, too?

Well, kinda.  Marco Rubio is beating the holy crap out of me in the polls.  But I'm a good guy.  So, please.  Don't make me beg for your vote.  I will beg if necessary.  But I'd really rather it didn't come to that.

Hey, don't forget about me!  I'm Mike Castle!  I'm from Delaware!  I know that Oregon has 11 counties that are bigger than my whole state, but that doesn't mean I'm insignificant.  I'm waiting for the polling numbers to come in to see if my potential write-in campaign has enough gas to burn that witch O'Donnell.  If it looks like I can do real damage, then count me in! 

You all are just a bunch o' crackahs.  I'm sick of all you white (and orange, sorry Charlie) folk beechin' about your votes not going the way you want them.  Don't look at me to do anything about it.  If you were black, maybe we'd have a little something to talk about.  But you aren't, so shut up.  K?


  1. Most excellent observations. Can't think of anything clever -- too much football on the brain.

  2. They ALL just need to climb back under their rocks. Unprincipled, with no character. Unbelievable.

  3. That about nails it man.

    Time to call the waaaambulance!

  4. This is really juicy stuff. Delicious, like a steak cooked to where the middle is still it's original color and starting to get really warm, but not hot.

    Funny funny funny.

  5. I think I'm going to quit my job then start a write in campaign to get paid.

    Should work about as well as what these jokers are trying to do.

  6. Heh! Inno, you hit the nail on the noggin onest agin.

  7. I loved the surprise Eric Holder appearance. Nice touch, Inn.

  8. Hey Alaska, don't forget to write in Liza Minnelli!


Family-friendly phrasing heartily encouraged.


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