The farkin' census. Only the government could manage to turn a simple head-count into such an Epic Eventtm. And the Public Service Announcements on the radio really bring out the Italian in me - these-a ads-a really PSA me off!
The one I've been hearing lately is about buses: "If we don't know how many people live in your town, how will we know how many buses we need?" Please, Mr. Radio Announcer, just shut up. I can't stand the stupidity. If I have to abide one more kernel of government idiocy, I'll pop like that fat guy in The Meaning of Life.
Instead, how's this for hope-n-change: base the number of buses on the demand for bus service! If all the buses are crowded, get some more. If they are driving around empty, sell them off. Who cares if a bazillion people live in my town? What matters is how many of them want to ride the bus!!!!
Ah S**T!!! Now I've done it! Now that I've said that, I bet the next census forms will demand we reveal the details of our bus riding habits so our overseers in central planning can optimize the bus schedule.