[Obama] "So, Dennis, what do you think of my spiffy ride?"
[Congressman Kucinich] "It's quite nice, Mr. President."
[Obama] "So what would it take to get you to switch from 'nay' to 'yea'?"
[Kucinich] "Well, as a principled progressive, that is not negotiable. If you and Harry and Nancy, with these huge majorities, can't even come up with a bill that contains a public option, then I'm not going to help you. I will not settle for this present bill. It is corporate welfare for the insurance companies."
[Obama] "That's partially true, but we intend to use it as a framework for going whole-hog single-payer in the near future."
[Kucinich] "Actually, in the near future most of us Dems are going to be unemployed. No deal, Howie."
[Obama] "OK, how about this: I use a few billion of the leftover TARP money to get you some shin implants. You'll finally be able to look your wife in the eye without having to stand on a cord of firewood."
[Kucinich, looking out window of AF1] "Actually, Mr. President, I've come to accept my appearance. I know I pretty much look like a smurf that got mixed in with the white laundry and bleached, but I'm pretty comfortable with that now."
[Obama] "Personally, I think it would make me suicidal to look as dorky as you. But that is a whole 'nother topic, best left for another day. Tell me what's your price."
[Kucinich] "Sir, I reiterate that I am not for sale. That's that." [to attendant] "Which way to the restroom?"
[attendant] "End of the aisle, on the right."
[Kucinich] "Thank you. Excuse me, Mr. President."
From the area of the restroom is heard a blood-curdling scream, Congressman Kucinich comes running back with his pants around his ankles.
[Kucinich] "Mr. President! I really need to do a number 2, but Rahm Emanuel is in the adjacent shower. Naked! And he says he's going to poke me!"
[Obama] "So, Dennis... care to rethink your vote on barrycare? The way I see it, is you can change your vote and I order Rahm to knock it off. Or, you can go in there and take your chances. Or, you can try to hold it until we land. I'll have you know that Air Force 1 has extra fuel capacity that allows us to stay in the air for hoursssssss aaaand hourrrrsssss."
[Kucinich] "OK! OK! I'll vote for your lame-o, crappy, barely-even-socialist watered-down junk bill!"