Base of the Sphincts

As it turns out, Ishmael has many other brothers, who are enraged.  You turn towards the desert and make your run for it, with the angry mass of swarthy Arabs in hot pursuit behind you.  The fleetness of your sprint causes your precious fedora to fall from your head.  You hesitate briefly to pick it up before continuing your run.  To keep this from happening again, you hold the hat down with one hand.  This affects your gait and the mob is now gaining on you.  All appears lost as you approach the ruins of the Great Sphincts.  The nose of the Sphincts is comically elongated - perhaps from telling too many lies.  It occurs to you that your only hope is to grab that nose with your whip and use your momentum to swing up onto the Sphinct's back, out of the reach of your pursuers.  This you attempt, and in a graceful arcing motion, you swing to the top of the Spincts' back.  The angry throng begins hurling stones at you.  You duck low to avoid the rocks and notice some very small runes carved there.

You have:

• Stylish fedora
• Bullwhip
• Vintage Walther P-38 w/ 6 rounds
• Well-worn leather jacket
• Old brass lantern

CAN YOU NAME ONE FEMALE OBAMA APPOINTEE THAT ISN'T UGLIER THAN A WOMBAT'S BUTT?.

Do you

• Shoot a few bad guys with your remaining ammo  -or-
• Try to decipher the runes before one of the stone-throwers gets lucky?