Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Having ears, but not hearing...

Alright, it seems every blogger feels a need to chime in on the GOP's "Listening Tour." Short version of my chime-in: Truckload of crap. Semi hauling triples with flashing OVERSIZE LOAD signs kind of truckload of crap.

Longer version: The GOP is equating electoral defeat with philosophical defeat. Hence, they feel the need to remake the party. Ordinary Republicans also feel like remaking the party, but for totally different reasons. The base is SCREAMING "No More RINOs! Give us real conservative candidates!" And the party bigwigs look at each other and say "did you just hear something?" The empty suit next to him replies "Nah. Not a thing. Maybe we should go on a Listening Tour so we can hear what others think we should be, 'cuz we're not hearing a thing here in our posh offices."

OK. It's bad enough to dis the base by ignoring our cries. It's FAR WORSE to not even know what you stand for. To Steele and other GOP "leaders": If you need to go out on the road and ask people what to stand for, YOU ARE NOT A LEADER! This is exactly why people are disassociating from the GOP. Sticking your finger in the breeze is NOT leadership. Courageous stands and reliance on principles are signs of leadership. People FLOCK to a genuine leader. The Big Tent you want so bad will burst at the seams if you'll just man up and stick to the platform. But no, you want to know whether we should be more 'hip-hop.' You want to know how to be more 'cool.' This is wretchedly horridly immeasurably idiotic. The base is already telling you what to do to win. The base is already telling you what will generate big turn-out and big donations. The independents are already telling you why they left the party. But you don't care. You just want the vote of that unemployed tatted-up skateboard punk with so many body piercings he looks like he did a swan dive into a big box of fishing tackle. And along the way your message has become "I want to say what you want to hear, but I don't know what that is. Please tell me, so I can tell you what you want to hear. I'll be whatever you want me to be. I'm basically a vote-whore."

I hate you.

Do you want to know who I'll vote for? No? I'll tell you anyway. I'll vote for the one that says "Screw popularity! I absolutely refuse to focus-group my opinions before I announce them. Ya wanna know where I stand? Then just ask me and I'll tell you what I believe and why I believe it - right now, right to your face! I believe what I believe, PERIOD!" Even if I barely agreed with half of that person's agenda, I'd fight to the death for him. To the death.

Are you listening now, GOP?

Am I making any sense now, GOP?

¿Comprende, GOP?

So maybe you will hear some great ideas on this tour. Do you think we care? If you can't stick to the most basic principles of the party, what confidence are we supposed to have that you'll stick to any of this new stuff either? We know that to you all is negotiable, and whatever new platform you do come up with, you'll piss all over it next week if you think it'll make you a little more popular.
Wow, I can't believe how mad I'm getting as I type this. Need to chill for a second... This post started off about nostalgia and invoking Reagan. I wanted to lay a little groundwork for my argument, but the groundwork seems to have taken over the whole post!


  1. I think we should find you and make you run. I am pretty confident you'd get elected by all the "right wing extremists" out there with a brain in their collective head.

    And you could make your own flags!

    Ronnie would be proud of you.

  2. It'd be a short term of office, 'cuz I don't think I could go more than a few hours without ending up in jail for beating up Arlen Specter.

  3. Who could?

    It's a nice thought, though.

    Your presidency, that is, not beating up Arlen.

    Hey, he's named after the fictional Texas town on King of the Hill...


Family-friendly phrasing heartily encouraged.


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