Friday, December 16, 2011

The Plane, Boss! The Plane!

On an arid Persian plateau, Mahmoud and Jamaal tend to some goats.

[Jamaal] "Mahmoud!  Look in sky!  What strange airplane!"

[Mahmoud] "That is no plane.  I have no seen the plane like this before!"

The stealth drone comes to an abrupt landing nearby, but remains mostly intact.  The herdsmen approach cautiously.

[Mahmoud] "Oh no!  It is not plane.  It is UFO!  Now comes time when small gray man with the big eyes depart the UFO and probe my 'down there' place with strange instrument!"

[Jamaal] "Mahmoud, be reasonable.  The Prophet wrote of no such thing.  I think you see too much the SyFy channel and get the bad idea from."

[Mahmoud] "No!  I hate the intentional misspelling of words and brands and slogans.  It is not catchy or effective." [getting irrationally angry]  "No!  Not catchy!  It is vexing only.  So I no to watch the SyFy.  Just the name 'SyFy' make me wants to kill the Joooos."

[Jamaal] "So?  A pleasant breeze at the sunrise make you wants to kill the Joooos."

[Mahmoud] "Yes.  What is your point?"

[Jamaal] "I do not remember the point.  Oh yes.  There is no strange man do those things on you."

[Mahmoud] "But there is!  It happened also just the last night!"

[Jamaal]  "No, my friend.  That was just me."

[Mahmoud, relieved] "What then of this plane?  Let us go nearer."

The two herdsmen sidle near enough to almost touch the unusual craft.  Eerie clicks and hissing noises emanate from it as its engine cools in the chill evening air.

[Mahmoud, cringing] "My soul is troubled by this machine.  I cannot touch it or come closer.  It is like being near to the Michael Moore wearing Speedo...  Much evil."

[Jamaal] "But where is the cockpit?  Where is the pilot?" [throws rock at screen where pilot's seat is found on traditional manned aircraft]

[Mahmoud] "Jamaal!  Stop!  I tell you it is evil! It is flown by a djinn!  If there is no pilot, what can be other explanation?"

-----------------
(to be continued?)

12 comments:

  1. This is one of those stories that I usually delete without posting, 'cuz plot-wise, I paint myself into a corner and can't think of a way to further the story.

    ReplyDelete
  2. What doesn't make the ahmadinejad want to kill Jooooooos?

    But now that President Obama has asked for the drone back we should have it soon.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I am confuse-ed: you are to saying that the Michael Moore with the speedo is many more evil than the Joooos?

    I say we should kill the speedo clad of the Michael Moore AND the Jooooos.

    In this way, the Prophet is much happy.

    ...not to mention Jamaal and Mahmoud.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hmmmmmm, you may be right; until they give it back, (try to) obliterate Isreal or dress Michael Moore, the plot must wait.

    Any of the above scenarios would be fine: we get our extra-special drone-toy back, Isreal retaliates by nuking them to dust, and/or Michael Moore stops being disgusting...oh, well, i guess 2 out of 3 ain't bad!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Micheal Moore in a speedo. You had to conjure up that vision oh cruel one?

    ReplyDelete
  6. I wanna meet a djinn. Preferably one that needs liberating from a container and would express his gratitude in traditional djinn ways if I did the deed.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Infidel - Barry Manilow records take his mind off the killin'

    Fredd - Weaponize the speedo of lard and launch against the zionist entity!

    aA - Netanyahu will have Dinnerjacket over for BBQ pork before MM ceases to be disgusting

    Odie - You hit us with pictures of guys in leopard-print leotards shopping at walmart. I think this makes us even.

    Buck - I grant you one box of cubans, a case of really thick, dark beer, and Detroit hoisting the cup of Lord Stanley.

    ReplyDelete
  8. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  9. A Post Script to Woodsterman (Odie)
    P.S.
    Gray man with big eyes poking their 'down there' place with strange instrument. Must Innominatus conjure up THAT image

    ReplyDelete
  10. Also, You must post a picture of Michael Moore in speedos. PLEASE?

    ReplyDelete
  11. I can already "Conjure up" an image of that...

    ReplyDelete
  12. I have no idea why, but here is the mental immage I get from this story. http://www.amazon.com/GOAT-CROSSING--Sign--novelty-animal/dp/B0046B6KFI/ref=sr_1_2?s=home-garden&ie=UTF8&qid=1324624035&sr=1-2

    ReplyDelete

Family-friendly phrasing heartily encouraged.

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