Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Caffeine should be its own food group

Alright, ordinarily I hate these things.  But my ordinary (and by ordinary I mean "black as the coal miner's [ ] at midnight and thick like 90W gear lube and stronger than the stench of an #occupy encampment") coffee just ain't turnin' the crank today.  I am so flippin' tired that, well, um, yeah. I'm at the point of actually downing one of these.  I think it was Blaise Pascal who said "anybody who sleeps more than four hours a day is wasting his life."  I think it was also Blaise Pascal who did math stuff and said a lot of things that seriously piss me off.  I've done (at most) 4 hours a night consecutively starting Friday, and really, Blaise, I don't think it's helping with any part of my life.  Wait... My hallucinations are becoming more vivid, so there's that...

Anyway.

Going to an OSU Beaver basketball game tonight.  Haven't been there live-an-in-person since Saint Gary of the Payton was running the offense.  Should be fun.  But I want to be awake.  When is the optimal time to chug this nasty swill?  Tip-off is at 7:00pm local time.  I want to time it so I'm nice and lively at the game and then, about 4 seconds after I get home, crash.  Crash!  Crash like a liberal taking a head-on with Reality at freeway speeds.  I want to wake up in my own clothes and wonder what day it is kind of crash.  But timing is crucial.  Don't wanna run out of energy while I'm still driving home after the game.  When should I crack the seal on this little bottle of evil?

15 comments:

  1. We old guys use a drug free approach and take a nap before the game.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hopefully when I'm older I'll have time for naps instead of constant go-go-go.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Let's see it says 5 hr. energy so I'm thinking if you aint took it by now that your going to be up all night.

    Have a Good Time!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Those thinks aren't too bad. They sell them at aldi and the dollar store for $1, so don't buy those expensive ones!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I tried the energy drink route once, and once only. I found it to be way too jittery. I drink 8 - 10 cups of coffee a day, but the build-up in caffeine is gradual that way, you know? The quick blast just really harshed me.

    ReplyDelete
  6. That five hour stuff is pretty vile. I've been working nights for the past 3 1/2 years so I've had to chug that at 4 AM plenty of times.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I got some of the dollar store stacker things that are supposed to be like the 5 hr energy. I haven't tried them yet.

    ReplyDelete
  8. An hour reclined with eyes closed is the best investment.
    .

    ReplyDelete
  9. Hey! Is the first one free? I've heard that s**t is a gateway drug, too.

    You're doomed.

    wv: coffull. A big-ass cup o' coffee. THAT'S whutyaneed.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Never tried it. It scares me. And it takes something pretty scary to scare me -- I did some pretty good stuff waaaaaay back in the day. You know, like waaaay back when before the statute of limitations expired.

    ReplyDelete
  11. No help from me - I've never tried the stuff. I used to drink a pot of coffee a day, but I'm down to a cup a day. On the other hand, the stuff I make is pretty strong - Uri Geller's spoon-bending nonsense makes him look like a piker, by comparison; my stuff doesn't bend a spoon - the thing freakin' disappears (as if by magic).

    ReplyDelete
  12. I'm a big fan of 5 hr energy. Use it every day when I have to work. Really clears the morning fuzz out of my head.

    And the label is actually pretty accurate. Somewhere between 4.5 & 5 hours, you can feel the wall start coming back up.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Inno:

    Looks live the Beevs are back to their old winning ways on the hardwood, after quite a spell of mediocrity.

    The very last college basketball game I ever attended also involved Gary Payton: Oregon State vs Oregon in Eugene, the Ducks won that one, must have been around 1988 or 1989, something like that.

    ReplyDelete
  14. My husband takes these caffeine drinks. It seems to work for him. I hope it works well for you and helps you increase your energy.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Would you settle for 'Vitamin C Squared'

    ReplyDelete

Family-friendly phrasing heartily encouraged.

LinkWithin

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...