Jim Treacher, conservative internet humor hero and one of the very first commenters on this highly esteemed blog, got Kerrigan'd be the Secret Service last night. They used to say "beware the black helicopters" but because of barry's unholy deficits they can't afford them and are now using black SUVs. Keep your head on a swivel, people!
Now they're saying it wasn't Secret Service but rather State Department Security. Translation: Hillary going for a drug-induced joyride with her face out the window like a Labrador. Thankfully, this means you don't have to worry about the black SUVs unless you live in DC. Black helicopters, though, are still to be avoided. The helicopters have gear on board that reads your brainwaves based on the refractive index of the chemtrails left high in the atmosphere by government controlled UFOs. Tinfoil screws up the harmonics. What any of this has to do with Jim Treacher, I dunno. I just kind of got going on a good ramble and can't stop - like a recalled Prius that hasn't been to the dealership yet.