Monday, February 22, 2010

Miracle un-Nice

30 years ago, our hockey team beat the bad guys in a remarkable win.  The Miracle on Ice.  I was in 5th grade.  I remember it well.  I was already a little flag-waving jingoist rah-rah American at that age...  Faceoff against the evil godless commies...  Rocky IV, in real life...

But...

Two annoying girls from my 5th grade class kept prank-calling my house.  Cordless phones were something of an expensive novelty at the time - we didn't have one.  But I did have parents who would never get off the couch to answer the phone (or change the TV channel - I was the human remote) so I had to get up over and over and hear their nefarious giggles/click/dialtone.  So it is time to name names.  Yes, after all these years I still remember them.  I can even picture them, for their hideous visages are etched deep in my memories...


Gina Turnberg, the scrawny dark-haired one.  Jamie Whalen, the red-headed Amazon who could have probably kicked my butt at the time.  To the two of you I say:  I hope both of you are enjoying this year's Olympics.  I hope you are riveted to your TV.  And I hope that when you get up during the commercial to put another snack in your oversized maws, you catch a toe on the area rug and spill salsa all over your new microfiber loveseat.  You deserve it.

10 comments:

  1. Forgiveness is divine, except when it comes to the little she devils of one's grade school memories.

    I'm witcha dude, had a few broom riders meself to contend with. Hopefully they have warts as big as their butts right about now.

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  2. Wow dude. I remember the win, but not any particular tormentors.

    Time is a great mechanism for vengeance. I remember some of the swelled headed folks from my school. They are now proportionally inflated, and sitting on a bar stool talking about how great they WERE.

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  3. Matt sums it well. The Olympians we knew in High school are but mere mortals and man did they fall hard.

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  4. Of course I would give just about anything to know that Tammy Davis has gained forty pounds of unsightly flesh, has more kids than she can count, is on anti-depressants and has a shopping addiction and has married 'up'...to a factory worker at Tysons.Bitch.

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  5. Jaded - If I saw either of them today I'd be able to have a good laugh about the whole thing. After I pull their hair.

    Matt - I missed the 20 year reunion, but at the 10 it was already surprising how far the "cool" people had fallen.

    Red - Wow! My wife and I both laughed good at that one! I'm glad to provide a place where you can tell us how you really feel.

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  6. noooo not 30 yrs?!?! i still remember it too! jeez time flies. as we jokingly say around the house.."dumb ole girls"

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  7. Wow, to carry a grudge all of these years ... that's pretty small of you. I love it, go get em tiger !

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  8. I was a baby 30 years ago so there's no recollection of that game, I did however spend several years as the remote control, designated phone answerer, and all around gopher... GO AMERICA!

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  9. Too bad they messed up your enjoyment of the game.
    They are outed now for the pests that they were and most likely still are. Living well is the best revenge, and look on the bright side, you didn't marry them ;-)

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Family-friendly phrasing heartily encouraged.

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