Friday, February 19, 2010

Short Attention Span Theatre

When I get home from work, I rarely have food with me.  So my dogs think I am a lousy hunter.  It is a sad thing to go through life without even the respect of one's own dogs.

---------------------------

The Oregon Duck football team usually runs a no-huddle offense.  What do you call it when they do form a huddle?  A CRIME RING!

---------------------------

There is a recurring internet meme of MichelleO being either a wookie, a bigfoot, or a Klingon.  Obama goes to Henderson, Nevada.  To campaign for Harry Reid.  Connect the dots, people!


 ---------------------------


Lots of people are talking up CPAC.  Whee.  CPAC has been around for nearly 40 years and we still have dorks like McCain and Grahamnesty.  CPAC would be a lot cooler if there were a lot less speechifying and a lot more hand-to-hand combat.

---------------------------

The sport of curling would be a lot cooler if there were a lot less curling and a lot more hand-to-hand combat.  "This is my BROOMSTICK, you primitive screwheads!"

---------------------------

This page intentionally left blank

---------------------------

Tiger Woods had his big boohoo session today.  Doesn't matter.  His days as The Innocent Hard Working All-American Success Story are over.  If I were his agent, I'd recommend embracing his new image.  Golf would be a lot cooler if Tiger were sponsored by Marlboro and Pabst Blue Ribbon and he went around the golf course slamming peoples' faces in the divots left by his Harley-Davidson.

7 comments:

  1. You forgot to add that Tiger should do all of that stuff with his schlong hanging out while accompanied by a team of Hooters girls.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I too share your lukewarm reception of CPAC. IN fact no one really gave two shatners until Obama was elected and Congress came out of the socialist closet.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Red - "gave two shatners" I love it. Now part of my daily vocabulary.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I learned years ago that our pets only tolerate us because our opposable thumbs can operate the can opener.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Good one Innominatus. As one with a short attention span, I can fully appreciate.....

    ReplyDelete
  6. You are truly a great mind! Or grate mind, however you wanna spell it. Anyhoo, I like it.

    I have thought of these things too, myself, also, which only shows to go you, "grape mines think alike".

    "two shatners"...ya, that's funny! Good one, Red! You must have a grape mine, as well, too.

    ReplyDelete

Family-friendly phrasing heartily encouraged.

LinkWithin

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...