Friday, February 5, 2010

PC forbidden words as of 2/5/10

I grew up in fear of being heard speaking the f-word or the s-word.  Those were about the only ones we had to worry about.  But the list has been growing.  Recently the word "[r-word deleted]" has been added to the unspeakable words list.  I am a stickler for Political Correctness and am loathe to accidentally insult anybody by insensitive use of language, so I announce that I will not use it anymore except in those times that the context is unmistakable.  For example "fire retardant" remains acceptable, especially when suggesting that Governor Kulongowski should lose his job.  The acceptable vs. un-PC list of words is ever-changing.  As of right now, (Friday 2-5-10, 11:33am) this is the current alphabetical list for your reference, and a suggested substitute.

  • a-word: banned.  Instead use "That part of Obama's anatomy that he pulls "jobs saved/created" stats out of"
  • b-word: banned.  Instead use "Hillary when she's been in uncomfortable shoes for about 9 hours"
  • c-word: banned.  Instead use "Joy Behar" as in "her Behar muscle is cramping."
  • d-word: Safe to use
  • e-word: Safe to use
  • f-word: banned.  Instead use "freaking" or "fark" depending on context.  Unless you're a local news broadcaster with a chicken fetish and the cameras are on, then fire away.
  • g-word: safe to use
  • h-word: some geese don't honk, use with caution. 
  • i-word: banned. Obama has used up all available "I"s for this budget cycle.  
  • j-word: safe to use
  • k-word: is there a k-word?
  • l-word:  banned.  Instead use "Progressive" or "RINO"
  • m-word: safe to use
  • n-word: banned.  Instead use "Annoying race-baiter like Al Sharpton"
  • o-word: safe to use.  For now.  If Obama continues to screw up, though, the o-word might make a useful epithet.
  • p-word: safe to use.
  • q-word: this word's status changes often, under the queerest of circumstances.  Presently safe to use.  Check with this list for status changes before using in polite company.
  • r-word: banned.  Instead use "Keith Olberman"
  • s-word: banned.  Instead use "economic outlook" when following "deep" or "Congressional Ethics" when following "bull"
  • t-word: safe to use
  • u-word: safe to use
  • v-word: very banned.  No viable substitute.  Just completely stay away from this word.
  • w-word: safe to use.  In fact, use of this word is encouraged.  "Gee, I really miss dubya!" should be included in every paragraph of every document
  • x-word: safe to use
  • y-word: safe to use
  • z-word: safe to use
Please advise immediately if you become aware of any additions to this list!

9 comments:

  1. It's tough to RETARD engine timing without it.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Odie, ya just Olberman the timing a couple degrees. Or get some high-octane gas and leave it advanced.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Truly awesome and fun and original. No one else has said as much. Well f-ing done, my friend.

    ReplyDelete
  4. m-banned! You don't f-banned say!

    I hate these c-banned a-banned idiots and their puritanical political correctness.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Stop being an R-word and start being an L-word

    ReplyDelete
  6. Great post Innominatus. You were inspired with this list! Very true and funny stuff.
    I’m getting sick and tired of the PC crap and what we can’t say..it’s just the precursor to stifling ALL speech. Rahm is a retard, asswipe, fuckwad and should be fired! “fire retardant” that’s a great one!

    ReplyDelete
  7. What?! But without the b-, c-, f-, and n- word, my rap career is over!

    ReplyDelete
  8. The M word? Myopic? Master Debater? Mastrantonio?

    What could it be?

    ReplyDelete

Family-friendly phrasing heartily encouraged.

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