Thursday, December 31, 2009

Superstitions

Growing up, my mom's side of the family was full of silly superstitions.  Spill some salt?  Gotta toss a little over your left shoulder to ward off bad luck.  Shoes CAN NOT go on the kitchen table, even if they're still brand new and in their box, lest one bring on some kind of curse.  Lots of that kind of stuff.  I never took it seriously.  I do play a little game of breaking sports jinxes, though.  The announcer might say something like "Brandon Roy has made nine straight free throws" and I make a game of lunging for the wooden end-table to knock on it before the free throw goes up.  If I fail, he's jinxed and will miss the shot.  OK, we all know that his making or missing the shot has nothing to do with whether I tap the table, but it is kind of fun.  My wife thinks it is particularly funny if we're listening to a game in the car, and the cheezy plastic interior offers no wood to knock on.  But it is all done in jest.

However...

Even numbered years have always sucked for me.  I am at a loss to explain why.   I tell myself that such things are irrational, illogical and just plain stupid.  But the fact remains - for me, even numbered years = financial problems, deaths in the family, vehicle breakdowns, leaky faucets and hangnails.  It isn't that odd numbered years are so great, it is more that odd numbered years just seem to have a lot less of that kind of junk going on.  Which brings us to 2009...

2009 is the odd numbered year that sucked like an even.  Heck, it sucked like a six-pack of evens, all concentrated in one year.  There's no debatin' it.  Does this mean 2010 will be doubleplus-sucky?  No. No!  NO!  The cycle is broken! I ain't fallin' for no banana in the tailpipe this year!   Let me be clear:  Obama and crew, Governor Kulongoski, and libtards everywhere have used up several years worth of suck.  In fact, there will be a severe shortage of suck for several years to come.  Brace yourself.  Gird your loins.  Be prepared.  For 2010 will be the year that doesn't suck!

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYBODY!

15 comments:

  1. Well, I'm ready for a reduction in rotten things happening on 2010, and if it goes better for you and me this year, let me know if you're knocking on wood any more or less than usual. Or if you have kept shoes off of the table, or the salt in the shaker, or Qtips out of the fire, or knives out of the water glass or whatever.

    I hope your "next year" is better than your "this year".

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  2. I used to be superstitious about the Mets until their recent bout with utter suckitude. No witch doctor is gonna cure that.

    Far as 2010 goes, one thing's for sure: it's gonna feature many fewer elected Democrats. I'll drink to that.

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  3. aA - "or Qtips out of the fire, or knives out of the water glass or whatever." makes me think ya got some old-world Italian in you. Dittos on the new year sentiments

    TMI - The Giants are my MLB team, so I'm used to disappointment in that area. But they fit the pattern: '86 lose 100 games, '87 NLCS, '88 suck, '89 World Series, etc... I haven't had a drink in 11 years, but I may just have to crack a bottle of bubbly when Nan has to hand over the gavel.

    Labcat - to you as well!

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  4. 2010 may suck for a while, but I'm hoping that November will be sweeeeeeet!

    Happy New Year!

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  5. Politics aside, here's to an awesome 2010!!

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  6. MR No-Name; no Italian, I just keep my ears open and listen to peoples' foundless superstions, then make up my own. They're just as ridiculous!

    oOoPPS! I bit the Hershey's kiss before it melted, I gotta go kick a cat...

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  7. Matt - November is just going to be the cherry on top! Thiiiiink possssitive!

    Red - agreed, happy 2010! But I can't seem to do anything without injecting politics into it!

    aA - I remember a previous discussion where it was revealed that you are a child of the conquering Norsemen. Hence your lack of Mediterranean cultural nonsense. But I like the made-up ones you've come up with better than the real ones my mom used to freak about!

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  8. I'll toast to that! It will be a wild year though...

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  9. Happy Midterm Elections Year Inno! I don't know what the dunderheads in Washington have in store for us this year, but I do know what we have in store for them in November.

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  10. Well then, here's to 2010 not sucking!

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  11. I'm with Innominatus. Why not be optimistic?

    Happy New Year, Inn.

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  12. Wow, inno. Thanks for putting me in your blogroll. I'm... megaflattered.

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  13. sucked like a six-pack of evens

    Love that. And was the banana in the tail pipe line an intended quote from Beverly Hills Cop? If so, double cool.

    HAPPY NEW YEAR, Innom.

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  14. Velcro - wild like a roller coaster. Butt-puckerin' scary, but the cart will stay on the rails 'til it's over.

    1TC - I'm just glad you turned your blog back on.

    Odie - hear, hear!

    KShamus - it's probably the only time I'll be optimistic all year, so I need to ride it for all it is worth.

    TMI - no prob. You link will now be visible to literally, like, dozens of people!

    Mike - yep, I'm a product of the '80s. Back when Presidents were manly and movies were funny.

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