Saturday, July 7, 2012

Serious question on flag etiquette

Hokay... The flag I fly in front of my house has caught a case of the funk.  The white isn't nearly as white as it ought to be, and the other colors are a little off, too.  Is it kosher to throw an American flag in the washing machine?  Is that disrespectful?  I hope it is cool 'cuz I ain't much in the mood to buy another one right now.

I've thought of some other possibilities, too. 

1.  Continue to fly the flag as-is
2.  Fly the flag upside down because the Preezy of the United Skeezy has me perpetually distressed.
3.  Retire the flag with dignity.
4.  Douse the flag in diesel, wrap an illegal alien in it like a giant tamale, scruff my feet on the carpet 'til I get a good static charge built up, and discharge the ignition spark by poking the illegal in the nose.

Apropos of nuttin', I have another thought.  Whoa...  That's like two in one day.  Anyway, the youngest granddaughter cries and moans incessantly, expects everything to be done for her, and is completely indiscriminate about her pooping habits.  Dear gawd, my grandkid is an Occupier!

10 comments:

  1. Number 4 sounds worthy of video taping...I would buy a copy!

    ReplyDelete
  2. The flag code does not prohibit washing your flag. I would do so by hand using cool water and a mild detergent.

    Although, like Randy, number four sounds way fun and number 2 sounds reasonable.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Replies
    1. Three, please. I think you have an inner-net hit on yer hands, Inno.

      Delete
  4. You tryin' to get Big Sis on your case? Illegal aliens are a protected species, like the Spotted Owl or sea lions. If you can grab Bill Ayers, though, you should be good - that ilk's way plentiful.

    And it sounds like your grandkid's way ahead of the game, so no need to load up on college debt!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Seriously, I think three is the proper one.

    ReplyDelete
  6. "Anyway, the youngest granddaughter cries and moans incessantly, expects everything to be done for her, and is completely indiscriminate about her pooping habits"

    So your granddaughter is a Democrat?

    ReplyDelete
  7. Two thoughts in a day? That's like, what, 1.5 more thoughts than I have in a month.

    Nice job, Inn.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Seriously, the Boy Scouts & VFWs will burn your flag for you:

    "But you should let qualified organizations do the burning for you. The VFW, Boy Scouts of America and American Legion are the three organizations authorized by the U.S. Congress to burn flags."

    ReplyDelete
  9. It is perfectly acceptable to lauder a flag. Use a gentle detergent like Woolite and a color safe bleach.

    The flag should be the only thing in the washer, as well as the drier. Use the air dry cycle.

    ReplyDelete

Family-friendly phrasing heartily encouraged.

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