Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Seeking investors!!!!1!

Artwork for label design

The only thing a product needs to succeed in the market is the right balance of Supply and Demand.  Let's face it: America is becoming a nation of overweight widebottoms.  And most of us will be toiling long hours right up until the day we die, just to pay the taxes that'll be extracted from us to pay for our national debt and unfunded liabilities.  We're getting fat and we're gonna need a lot of energy.

So we've established demand.  What about supply?  Well, here in western Oregon, we're rarely lacking for water.  Neither are we lacking for meth.  Our genius government put Sudafed behind the counter, so local tweekers can't cook it up like they used to.  But that's OK - There's an endless number of illegal alien mexithugs sneaking over the border with drugs and the AK-47s we gave them. They haul the drugs right up the interstate we paved for them, and the Border Patrol can only snipe at them with beanbag rounds.  So supply won't be a problem.  Now we have to show ID to get a pill for our sniffles, but no ID required to vote.  Ain't America grand?

All that's left for this venture to really take off is start-up cash so I can buy that old Winnebago and turn it into a mobile bottling plant.  Also, I'll need distributors in other parts of the country.  Lemme know if you want to send cash, become a Licensed Distributor, or both.

OBLIGATORY LEGALESE: Any similarities to the bottled-water product "EartH2O" is purely coincidental.

14 comments:

  1. I am willing to invest in your noble enterprise.

    Cash only right?

    ReplyDelete
  2. No thanks, Inno. I'm severely allergic to prison.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think they make an ointment for that.

      Delete
    2. 'Prison ointment,' huh? I wonder if my former Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich is privy to this stuff, I bet he could use it....if it works.

      Delete
    3. It works... but Blago used it as hair gel and hence went to prison.

      Delete
  3. Replies
    1. Hopefully the mailman ain't playin' any games with us.

      Delete
  4. I know where you can get a good mobile lab... for cheap. Well, not cheap but reasonable.

    Ask me how.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. PS: The art work is GREAT.

      Delete
    2. Thank ya. El Casa Movil de Methagua has a certain ring to it, ¡sí!

      Delete
    3. Out of complete innocence, really, how?

      Delete
  5. Last time I checked into a motel, they wanted photo id. I'm thinking of suing.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hhhhhm, impressive very impressive. I was thinking of MariWina where we take some wine and mix dissolving Marijuana in it. I don't know. MetH2O sounds better though. Easier to sneak across the border n' all.

    ReplyDelete

Family-friendly phrasing heartily encouraged.

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