|Artwork for label design|
The only thing a product needs to succeed in the market is the right balance of Supply and Demand. Let's face it: America is becoming a nation of overweight widebottoms. And most of us will be toiling long hours right up until the day we die, just to pay the taxes that'll be extracted from us to pay for our national debt and unfunded liabilities. We're getting fat and we're gonna need a lot of energy.
So we've established demand. What about supply? Well, here in western Oregon, we're rarely lacking for water. Neither are we lacking for meth. Our genius government put Sudafed behind the counter, so local tweekers can't cook it up like they used to. But that's OK - There's an endless number of illegal alien mexithugs sneaking over the border with drugs and the AK-47s we gave them. They haul the drugs right up the interstate we paved for them, and the Border Patrol can only snipe at them with beanbag rounds. So supply won't be a problem. Now we have to show ID to get a pill for our sniffles, but no ID required to vote. Ain't America grand?
All that's left for this venture to really take off is start-up cash so I can buy that old Winnebago and turn it into a mobile bottling plant. Also, I'll need distributors in other parts of the country. Lemme know if you want to send cash, become a Licensed Distributor, or both.
OBLIGATORY LEGALESE: Any similarities to the bottled-water product "EartH2O" is purely coincidental.