Monday, November 26, 2012

Pressing question

I bored and cold and my brain can't seem to reach a definitive conclusion about a matter that is really gnawing at me:



Who would win in a Celebrity Deathmatch between Gandalf and Darth Vader?  Note: I'm thinking of latter-stages Gandalf the White, not the bumbling Grey guy in the Hobbit. 

If I crowdsource this question to my teeming horde dozen or so readers, we should be able to reach a valid answer.  I'll tally the results from the comments and we'll finally put the issue to rest.  Or, we'll end up with a muddled mess like the BCS standings.  Either way, it'll be more fun for me than just sitting here.

PS: Hey, Manhattan Infidel!  When I do a Google Image Search for Gandalf, your pic comes up in the #2 spot!  Congrats on your mastery of the internet!




33 comments:

  1. Don't let Infidel's head swell too big. Google does that now. In their image (and word searches btw), they give preference to people you have had contact with (either through their blog, or from your e-mail exchanges, contact lists...yada yada yada...

    If I try the same search, it'll be entirely different. Hang on...lemme try...

    Dang! I was right. Infidel's image only came up at #1, not #2...

    So...http://youtu.be/V3FnpaWQJO0

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Does that mean you's more tight w/ Infidel than me? Jealous! :)

      Delete
    2. my only question is, which one comes up first, Inno?....

      Delete
    3. Inno...beats the hell out of me! The only link I have with Infidel is through this here blog. And The Gooble really did put his photo at #1.

      The Gooble knows junk. Obviously, YOU are the center of cyberearth...anybody that knows you knows everybody else that knows you. You're like gravity, or something...

      Spooky.

      Delete
  2. Gandalf. He's got a cool beard. Nuf' said

    ReplyDelete
  3. I'm going with Darth Vader - the force (farce) was strong with him and I don't think that Gandalf could spell Midi-chlorian even in elvish.

    Turning to Wikipedia: "Midi-chlorians were intelligent microscopic life forms that lived symbiotically inside the cells of all living things. When present in sufficient numbers, they could allow their symbiont to detect the pervasive energy field known as the Force. Midi-chlorian counts were linked to potential in the Force, ranging from normal Human levels of 2,500 per cell to the much higher levels of Jedi. The highest known midi-chlorian count—over 20,000 per cell—belonged to the Jedi Anakin Skywalker, who was believed to have been conceived by the midi-chlorians."

    I rest my case. Gandalf is toast, and his staff would be split by the red lightsaber.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's what I see happening in a small arena. Vader would sabre Gandy into steaming slabs of lunchmeat almost instantly. But what about a larger venue, with more space between them? Since Sith prefer the personal touch of slicing up their enemies, Vader would have to close the distance. Gando would have time to cast a spell or two, and I think things would get much more interesting. I mean, if he can beat the Balrog, he ain't exactly a chump.

      Delete
  4. Being the deep studier of wizardry things that I'm not, I have no clue what Gandalf would do against an evil power. I mean, he gets short people to do the dirty work. Really?! So I'd side with Darth Vader here. His knowledge of both the Dark Side and Light(Lite?) Side of the force would win the day. In the final seconds in which one of them says something clever like, "Now is the moment when the decision between good and evil is settled" Darth Vader would summon up the good inside of him and slay the old guy. But as for the flip-side of the question, who would lose, the answer is, France.
    Also, off subject but also a pressing question. Why can't we have a word better then 'good' for something, well, 'good? Bad has 'evil'. I just think it's unfair.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Go read Orwell's 1984. Then you'll know that "doubleplusgood" is the emphasized word for "good."

      Delete
  5. Question: Gandalf the White, Darth Vadar and a Moderate Muslim go into a bar, order a pitcher of Henry Weinhardt's Private Reserve, and start a game of darts. Gandalf shoots first, hitting three bullseyes. Darth steps up, and splits Gandalf's darts right down the middle with three exact bullseyes. Not to be outdone, the Moderate Muslim toes the line, and tosses three dead to nuts bulls eyes.

    Who wins?

    AH HA! Trick question - nobody wins, they are all fictitious characters..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'd still like Imaginary Vader to give Imaginary Muzzie a taste of lightsaber

      Delete
    2. Yeah, that would be nice to see. In a continuous loop...

      Delete
  6. Well, if Gandalf goes down, as you and LL seem to agree, then I say he goes down like Obi-Wan did... Stronger! which never really came through after that. just sort of ghostly appearance and a voice like he's talking out of his... er, cave.

    Did that help?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And they'd both have that touch of British accent to make them even scarier!

      Delete
  7. Gandalf the White vs. Darth Vader? Obviously Darth Vader would win. He'd just call Gandalf a racist. Game over.

    As for my mastery of the internet, what can I say except:

    Jitterbug
    Jitterbug
    Jitterbug
    Jitterbug

    You put the boom boom into my heart
    You send my soul sky high when your lovin' starts
    Jitterbug into my brain
    Goes a bang bang bang 'til my feet do the same

    But something's bugging you, something ain't right
    My best friend told me what you did last night
    Left me sleepin' in my bed, I was dreaming
    But I should have been with you instead

    Wake me up before you go go
    Don't leave me hanging on like a yo yo
    Wake me up before you go go
    I don't want to miss it when you hit that high

    Wake me up before you go go
    'Cause I'm not plannin' on going solo
    Wake me up before you go go
    Take me dancing tonight
    I wanna hit that high, yeah, yeah

    You take the gray skies out of my way
    You make the sun shine brighter than Doris Day
    Turned a bright spark into a flame
    My beats per minute never been the same

    'Cause you're my lady, I'm your fool
    It makes me crazy when you act so cruel
    Come on baby, let's not fight
    We'll go dancing, everything will be all right

    Wake me up before you go go
    Don't leave me hanging on like a yo yo
    Wake me up before you go go
    I don't want to miss it when you hit that high

    Wake me up before you go go
    'Cause I'm not plannin' on going solo
    Wake me up before you go go
    Take me dancing tonight
    I wanna hit that high, yeah, yeah yeah, baby

    Jitterbug
    Jitterbug

    Cuddle up, baby, move in tight
    We'll go dancing tomorrow night
    It's cold out there but it's warm in bed
    They can dance, we'll stay home instead

    Jitterbug

    Wake me up before you go go
    Don't leave me hanging on like a yo yo
    Wake me up before you go go
    I don't want to miss it when you hit that high

    Wake me up before you go go
    'Cause I'm not plannin' on going solo
    Wake me up before you go go
    Take me dancing tonight

    Wake me up before you go go
    Don't you dare to leave me hanging
    Wake me up before you go go
    I don't want to miss it when you hit that high

    Wake me up before you go go
    'Cause I'm not plannin' on going solo
    Wake me up before you go go
    Take me dancing tonight
    Yeah yeah

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. For that, I sentence you to a thousand years in the belly of that sand monster. Boba Fett can be your cellmate.

      Delete
    2. Jitterbug
      Jitterbug
      Jitterbug
      Jitterbug

      You put the boom boom into my heart
      You send my soul sky high when your lovin' starts
      Jitterbug into my brain
      Goes a bang bang bang 'til my feet do the same

      But something's bugging you, something ain't right
      My best friend told me what you did last night
      Left me sleepin' in my bed, I was dreaming
      But I should have been with you instead

      Wake me up before you go go
      Don't leave me hanging on like a yo yo
      Wake me up before you go go
      I don't want to miss it when you hit that high

      Wake me up before you go go
      'Cause I'm not plannin' on going solo
      Wake me up before you go go
      Take me dancing tonight
      I wanna hit that high, yeah, yeah

      You take the gray skies out of my way
      You make the sun shine brighter than Doris Day
      Turned a bright spark into a flame
      My beats per minute never been the same

      'Cause you're my lady, I'm your fool
      It makes me crazy when you act so cruel
      Come on baby, let's not fight
      We'll go dancing, everything will be all right

      Wake me up before you go go
      Don't leave me hanging on like a yo yo
      Wake me up before you go go
      I don't want to miss it when you hit that high

      Wake me up before you go go
      'Cause I'm not plannin' on going solo
      Wake me up before you go go
      Take me dancing tonight
      I wanna hit that high, yeah, yeah yeah, baby

      Jitterbug
      Jitterbug

      Cuddle up, baby, move in tight
      We'll go dancing tomorrow night
      It's cold out there but it's warm in bed
      They can dance, we'll stay home instead

      Jitterbug

      Wake me up before you go go
      Don't leave me hanging on like a yo yo
      Wake me up before you go go
      I don't want to miss it when you hit that high

      Wake me up before you go go
      'Cause I'm not plannin' on going solo
      Wake me up before you go go
      Take me dancing tonight

      Wake me up before you go go
      Don't you dare to leave me hanging
      Wake me up before you go go
      I don't want to miss it when you hit that high

      Wake me up before you go go
      'Cause I'm not plannin' on going solo
      Wake me up before you go go
      Take me dancing tonight
      Yeah yeah

      Delete
  8. I would venture Vader being he, fictionally speaking, has more worldly experience.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I can imagine a Vader taunt: "I've blown up more worlds than you've even been to!"

      Delete
  9. My photo didn't come up? I'da thunk it would have. The dark side is strong in him, but this is a gay subject. So, I'll pick the sweet side of the force.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I forgot to mention names ... you'll figure it out.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm picturing that one of barry gayly playing with a toy lightsaber outside the White House. What do I win?

      Delete
  11. I like Fredd's answer best. Pass me that pitcher, please.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Vader got beat by a half trained Luke. Gandalf would eat him for breakfast.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Gandolph. Hands down. He IS the Master of the flowing garment.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Looks like I wound up in the spam folder again. Is it because I misspelled Gandalf's name?

    ReplyDelete
  15. Mookie the Ewok could take 'em both.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Gee I miss these guys: http://www.grudge-match.com/current.html They had Darth Maul vs. Connor MacLeod, Emperor Palpatine vs. Q, and the Sith Lords vs. the Cenobites. This match would've fit right in.

    ReplyDelete

Family-friendly phrasing heartily encouraged.

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