I bored and cold and my brain can't seem to reach a definitive conclusion about a matter that is really gnawing at me:
Who would win in a Celebrity Deathmatch between Gandalf and Darth Vader? Note: I'm thinking of latter-stages Gandalf the White, not the bumbling Grey guy in the Hobbit.
If I crowdsource this question to my
teeming horde dozen or so readers, we should be able to reach a valid answer. I'll tally the results from the comments and we'll finally put the issue to rest. Or, we'll end up with a muddled mess like the BCS standings. Either way, it'll be more fun for me than just sitting here.
PS: Hey, Manhattan Infidel! When I do a Google Image Search for Gandalf, your pic comes up in the #2 spot! Congrats on your mastery of the internet!
Don't let Infidel's head swell too big. Google does that now. In their image (and word searches btw), they give preference to people you have had contact with (either through their blog, or from your e-mail exchanges, contact lists...yada yada yada...
ReplyDeleteIf I try the same search, it'll be entirely different. Hang on...lemme try...
Dang! I was right. Infidel's image only came up at #1, not #2...
So...http://youtu.be/V3FnpaWQJO0
Does that mean you's more tight w/ Infidel than me? Jealous! :)
Deletemy only question is, which one comes up first, Inno?....
DeleteInno...beats the hell out of me! The only link I have with Infidel is through this here blog. And The Gooble really did put his photo at #1.
DeleteThe Gooble knows junk. Obviously, YOU are the center of cyberearth...anybody that knows you knows everybody else that knows you. You're like gravity, or something...
Spooky.
Soon you will all answer to me!!
DeleteGandalf. He's got a cool beard. Nuf' said
ReplyDeleteYou're not helping
DeleteI'm going with Darth Vader - the force (farce) was strong with him and I don't think that Gandalf could spell Midi-chlorian even in elvish.
ReplyDeleteTurning to Wikipedia: "Midi-chlorians were intelligent microscopic life forms that lived symbiotically inside the cells of all living things. When present in sufficient numbers, they could allow their symbiont to detect the pervasive energy field known as the Force. Midi-chlorian counts were linked to potential in the Force, ranging from normal Human levels of 2,500 per cell to the much higher levels of Jedi. The highest known midi-chlorian count—over 20,000 per cell—belonged to the Jedi Anakin Skywalker, who was believed to have been conceived by the midi-chlorians."
I rest my case. Gandalf is toast, and his staff would be split by the red lightsaber.
That's what I see happening in a small arena. Vader would sabre Gandy into steaming slabs of lunchmeat almost instantly. But what about a larger venue, with more space between them? Since Sith prefer the personal touch of slicing up their enemies, Vader would have to close the distance. Gando would have time to cast a spell or two, and I think things would get much more interesting. I mean, if he can beat the Balrog, he ain't exactly a chump.
DeleteBeing the deep studier of wizardry things that I'm not, I have no clue what Gandalf would do against an evil power. I mean, he gets short people to do the dirty work. Really?! So I'd side with Darth Vader here. His knowledge of both the Dark Side and Light(Lite?) Side of the force would win the day. In the final seconds in which one of them says something clever like, "Now is the moment when the decision between good and evil is settled" Darth Vader would summon up the good inside of him and slay the old guy. But as for the flip-side of the question, who would lose, the answer is, France.
ReplyDeleteAlso, off subject but also a pressing question. Why can't we have a word better then 'good' for something, well, 'good? Bad has 'evil'. I just think it's unfair.
Go read Orwell's 1984. Then you'll know that "doubleplusgood" is the emphasized word for "good."
DeleteQuestion: Gandalf the White, Darth Vadar and a Moderate Muslim go into a bar, order a pitcher of Henry Weinhardt's Private Reserve, and start a game of darts. Gandalf shoots first, hitting three bullseyes. Darth steps up, and splits Gandalf's darts right down the middle with three exact bullseyes. Not to be outdone, the Moderate Muslim toes the line, and tosses three dead to nuts bulls eyes.
ReplyDeleteWho wins?
AH HA! Trick question - nobody wins, they are all fictitious characters..
Yeah, that would be nice to see. In a continuous loop...
DeleteYes, please.
DeleteWell, if Gandalf goes down, as you and LL seem to agree, then I say he goes down like Obi-Wan did... Stronger! which never really came through after that. just sort of ghostly appearance and a voice like he's talking out of his... er, cave.
ReplyDeleteDid that help?
And they'd both have that touch of British accent to make them even scarier!
DeleteGandalf the White vs. Darth Vader? Obviously Darth Vader would win. He'd just call Gandalf a racist. Game over.
ReplyDeleteAs for my mastery of the internet, what can I say except:
Jitterbug
Jitterbug
Jitterbug
Jitterbug
You put the boom boom into my heart
You send my soul sky high when your lovin' starts
Jitterbug into my brain
Goes a bang bang bang 'til my feet do the same
But something's bugging you, something ain't right
My best friend told me what you did last night
Left me sleepin' in my bed, I was dreaming
But I should have been with you instead
Wake me up before you go go
Don't leave me hanging on like a yo yo
Wake me up before you go go
I don't want to miss it when you hit that high
Wake me up before you go go
'Cause I'm not plannin' on going solo
Wake me up before you go go
Take me dancing tonight
I wanna hit that high, yeah, yeah
You take the gray skies out of my way
You make the sun shine brighter than Doris Day
Turned a bright spark into a flame
My beats per minute never been the same
'Cause you're my lady, I'm your fool
It makes me crazy when you act so cruel
Come on baby, let's not fight
We'll go dancing, everything will be all right
Wake me up before you go go
Don't leave me hanging on like a yo yo
Wake me up before you go go
I don't want to miss it when you hit that high
Wake me up before you go go
'Cause I'm not plannin' on going solo
Wake me up before you go go
Take me dancing tonight
I wanna hit that high, yeah, yeah yeah, baby
Jitterbug
Jitterbug
Cuddle up, baby, move in tight
We'll go dancing tomorrow night
It's cold out there but it's warm in bed
They can dance, we'll stay home instead
Jitterbug
Wake me up before you go go
Don't leave me hanging on like a yo yo
Wake me up before you go go
I don't want to miss it when you hit that high
Wake me up before you go go
'Cause I'm not plannin' on going solo
Wake me up before you go go
Take me dancing tonight
Wake me up before you go go
Don't you dare to leave me hanging
Wake me up before you go go
I don't want to miss it when you hit that high
Wake me up before you go go
'Cause I'm not plannin' on going solo
Wake me up before you go go
Take me dancing tonight
Yeah yeah
For that, I sentence you to a thousand years in the belly of that sand monster. Boba Fett can be your cellmate.
DeleteJitterbug
DeleteJitterbug
Jitterbug
Jitterbug
You put the boom boom into my heart
You send my soul sky high when your lovin' starts
Jitterbug into my brain
Goes a bang bang bang 'til my feet do the same
But something's bugging you, something ain't right
My best friend told me what you did last night
Left me sleepin' in my bed, I was dreaming
But I should have been with you instead
Wake me up before you go go
Don't leave me hanging on like a yo yo
Wake me up before you go go
I don't want to miss it when you hit that high
Wake me up before you go go
'Cause I'm not plannin' on going solo
Wake me up before you go go
Take me dancing tonight
I wanna hit that high, yeah, yeah
You take the gray skies out of my way
You make the sun shine brighter than Doris Day
Turned a bright spark into a flame
My beats per minute never been the same
'Cause you're my lady, I'm your fool
It makes me crazy when you act so cruel
Come on baby, let's not fight
We'll go dancing, everything will be all right
Wake me up before you go go
Don't leave me hanging on like a yo yo
Wake me up before you go go
I don't want to miss it when you hit that high
Wake me up before you go go
'Cause I'm not plannin' on going solo
Wake me up before you go go
Take me dancing tonight
I wanna hit that high, yeah, yeah yeah, baby
Jitterbug
Jitterbug
Cuddle up, baby, move in tight
We'll go dancing tomorrow night
It's cold out there but it's warm in bed
They can dance, we'll stay home instead
Jitterbug
Wake me up before you go go
Don't leave me hanging on like a yo yo
Wake me up before you go go
I don't want to miss it when you hit that high
Wake me up before you go go
'Cause I'm not plannin' on going solo
Wake me up before you go go
Take me dancing tonight
Wake me up before you go go
Don't you dare to leave me hanging
Wake me up before you go go
I don't want to miss it when you hit that high
Wake me up before you go go
'Cause I'm not plannin' on going solo
Wake me up before you go go
Take me dancing tonight
Yeah yeah
I would venture Vader being he, fictionally speaking, has more worldly experience.
ReplyDeleteI can imagine a Vader taunt: "I've blown up more worlds than you've even been to!"
DeleteMy photo didn't come up? I'da thunk it would have. The dark side is strong in him, but this is a gay subject. So, I'll pick the sweet side of the force.
ReplyDeleteI forgot to mention names ... you'll figure it out.
ReplyDeleteI'm picturing that one of barry gayly playing with a toy lightsaber outside the White House. What do I win?
DeleteI like Fredd's answer best. Pass me that pitcher, please.
ReplyDeleteFredd's right about a lot of stuff
DeleteVader got beat by a half trained Luke. Gandalf would eat him for breakfast.
ReplyDeleteI tend to agree
ReplyDeleteGandolph. Hands down. He IS the Master of the flowing garment.
ReplyDeleteLooks like I wound up in the spam folder again. Is it because I misspelled Gandalf's name?
ReplyDeleteMookie the Ewok could take 'em both.
ReplyDeleteGee I miss these guys: http://www.grudge-match.com/current.html They had Darth Maul vs. Connor MacLeod, Emperor Palpatine vs. Q, and the Sith Lords vs. the Cenobites. This match would've fit right in.
ReplyDelete